8 sexy tips from the Kama Sutra

iol life april 1 kaka sutra pic resized SUPPLIED Many guys love their prostate (the P-spot, or male equivalent of the G-spot) being massaged

Kama Sutra. Sex positions. Multiple orgasms. 'Is this site really a suitable spot for adult discussions?' Some of you have been asking. It's a good question. In response, I have another:

Why is it that at around 18 years we learn to drive a car sufficiently well to negotiate our streets to get home safe and sound, but when it comes to one of the most critical parts of a relationship - sex - we're expected to jump in feet first and know how things work without any form of instruction? Where are the theoretical and practical sex instruction classes, the exams to revise for, the awarded “ready-for-sex” licences and the chorus of congratulations when you exit this instructional rite of passage with flying colours?

In sex, we are largely still expected to operate in the dark. Even with the lights on. It's been 17 years since democracy was ushered in with huge fanfare. Yet the contemptuous scorn heaped on school-based sex education before that watershed moment remains intact. Our children are still scornful. Somewhat ironically, they have access to locally-shot graphic content sent to their cellphones, probably made by their peers at school. They may have unfettered access to pornography on the Internet. Some fathers even encourage their sons to watch porn with them as a misguided introduction to women and sex.

But educate our children about how men's and women's bodies respond to sexual stimuli? Collective South African gasp. (Solo RW yawn.) The more I write about how to improve our sexual awareness, and the more people who email me with their heart-rending problems and their heartfelt thanks for opening their eyes, the more I realise how desperate many South Africans are for straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is sex articles.

So I admit I'm on something of a personal crusade. Especially because a heck of a lot of guys have no clue that the clitoris exists, let alone that it is the key to women's orgasms. And on that good note, here are some of my favourite Kama Sutra sex tricks to add enormous pleasure to our sex lives. (With humble apologies in advance to all who will object.)

Kama Sutra tricks to pleasure a woman

Want her to orgasm from penetration?

Only around 30 percent of women can orgasm during penetrative intercourse because most women need direct stimulation of the clitoris to climax - which intercourse tends to leave out of the equation. But the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) position is great because it provides the woman with a high amount of stimulation and delays the man's climax. Women are three times more likely to orgasm from this position. Both partners may climax together due to the use of pressure and rocking motions rather than thrusting.

How to do this The man lies on top, aligns his pelvis with hers and enters her. She wraps her legs around his thighs and her ankles rest on his calves. They move only their pelvises simultaneously and at the same speed, in a rocking motion. It rubs all the right places for women and ensures that he continues for longer than normal, which is precisely what most women need to enjoy penetration as much as men do.

Triads of desire

Our main erogenous zones are linked. If you suck on a woman's nipples, for instance, she'll feel the sensation in her clitoris. Yet if you stimulate three erogenous zones simultaneously, this forms a more potent triad of desire that is greater than the sum of its points.

How to do this: try stimulating three erotic points on her body in combination, such as both nipples and the clitoris, or kiss her deeply on the lips and tweak both nipples. (The same applies to men - stimulating their nipples and penis together can be hugely exciting, for instance.) Use light and firm touches, plus different sensations such as vibration and clamping, or hot and cold temperatures. By linking three points and varying the stimulation, you'll take her to new heights of arousal.

Rub her belly for an explosive orgasm

It sounds crazy but this really works, because the area just above a woman's pubic bone is highly sensitive. Women feel lust in the pit of their stomachs and this move exploits that spot to maximum effect. When she's about to orgasm, rub the area of her abdomen just above her pubic bone and her orgasm will be heightened to an explosive experience.

How to do this Put both hands flat on her lower abdomen above her pubic bone. Then move your hands in opposite directions, back and forth across her abdomen. Watch her astonishment at the intensity of her climax.

A sex position to stimulate her G-spot and clit

The G-force is a superb Kama Sutra sex position for women because the position stimulates her G-spot and his well-placed hand provides added clitoral stimulation - a huge bonus for her. It also gives the guy an erotically-charged view of her on top.

How to do this The guy lies on his back while his lover faces him and kneels or squats over him. She then leans back and supports her weight on her hands, at an angle intended to hit her G-spot. He places a fist next to his penis (on the belly button side), the aim being that she grinds her clitoris against it as she moves up and down. A variation is that if he bends his knees, she can lean on them. The pace and depth is controlled by the woman who receives maximum stimulation of her G-spot and clitoris - and what could be better than that?

Kama Sutra tricks to pleasure a man

'Milk' him while he's inside you

Clench your PC muscle in a rolling motion around his penis during penetrative intercourse for a 'milking' effect - a technique that will drive him wild. This is an ancient art and a huge man pleaser. You'll need to do 25-30 Kegel exercises daily to strengthen your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle sufficiently to do this trick as you'll need a boa constrictor's gripping power!

How to do this Practice squeezing your PC muscle until you can isolate the inner, middle and outer bands of this muscle. Squeeze them one by one in sequence, starting with the outer band closest to the vaginal entrance and moving upwards in the vagina. Pop him inside you and do this in an ongoing rolling motion until it has the desired effect on him - it will rate as one of his most unforgettable sexual experiences.

Give him a multiple orgasm

When a guy's building up to an orgasm, there's a point of no return called ejaculatory inevitability - but not if you use this sneaky Kama Sutra trick. Most men are unaware that they can have multiple orgasms because after ejaculating they experience a refractory period (ranging from a few minutes to a few days) in which they are unable to achieve another erection.

How to do this: when he's close to an orgasm, take your middle finger and push down firmly on his perineum (the ridge between his testicles and anus) and hold it there. This cuts off the flow of semen but doesn't stop his climax. It will probably be a bit of a shock for him to orgasm without ejaculating semen, but when he realises that he is able to go again immediately afterwards, he's likely to become a multi-orgasmic convert.

A highly arousing sex position

The Pressed Position is visually exciting for a guy because it gives him a highly erotic view of his lover and of himself in action. It allows him to become highly aroused from his own sense of strength in response to her vulnerability. It also provides for good depth of penetration and thrusting, which he controls.

How to do this:the woman lies on her back and bends her knees, pulling them up towards her chest. The guy kneels in front of her with his legs wide apart on either side of her. She puts her feet on his chest with her legs together and holds onto his thighs. Her position is very submissive and allows him to take full control, but must be careful not to thrust too hard as her position shortens her vagina.

Massage his prostate for a P-spot orgasm

Many guys love their prostate (the P-spot, or male equivalent of the G-spot) being massaged, either internally via the anus or externally by stroking the perineum. This can produce a particularly deep, whole-body orgasm.

How to do this: while you're pleasuring him with your mouth or hand, when he's highly aroused pop some saliva or lubricant on your finger and rub the rim of his anus as well. It's rich in nerve endings, so he should find this highly pleasurable. Gently slip your finger inside a little way (no nails, please - and ask first in case he's got a phobia about this). Wait for his sphincter muscles to relax, then insert it a little further. Curve your finger towards his belly button and a few inches in, massage his prostate through the front wall of his rectum. The prostate produces ejaculatory fluid and feels like a firm bulge about the size of a walnut. If you're a bit squeamish, a curved vibrator may be easier to use, while the vibration adds another dimension of pleasure for him.

A final word The clit is queen!

Find out how to do Kegel exercises to 'milk' your man, and view the vibrating nipple clamps and curved vibrators for G-spot and P-spot stimulation at OhZone. - IOL

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KS, wrote

IOL Comments
12:59pm on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

I know of a Scotsman - from Glasgow - who won a radio competition for a holiday to South Africa after he came up with the most original idea of what he would take with him in his suitcase starting with the letters KWV. His answer was amazing. He said he would put the Kama Sutra in first, then he would add a woman to help him work through the Kama Sutra. He said he would also add vitamins to help him and the woman get through the Kama Sutra. He won hands down and enjoyed a two week holiday in the Cape with his lovely wife and I have no doubt a bottle of vitamins with him. True Story - happened back in the mid-1990s

IOL Comments

Deena Naidoo, wrote

IOL Comments
12:53pm on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

The Kama Sutra is a century plus old book of 'how to enjoy the art of sex' which was written by an Indian, for people who really want to enjoy sex, and, NOT for pornographic needs.

IOL Comments

guy, wrote

IOL Comments
12:22pm on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Guys, if you didn't know all this you have S-O-O-O-O been missing out on great sex. I regularly bring my wife to multiple orgasm every time we have sex, and a bit of control on my side keeps it going longer and longer. Hint: Try to NOT orgasm - save it for later. The longer you wait, the better it gets.

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
11:19am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

What a great article. I can't wait to try this at home!

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Onan, wrote

IOL Comments
10:28am on 1 April 2011
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Its amazing how these perfectly reasonable and interesting articles bring out the Mother Grundies like snails after rain. I suppose its their spluttering indignation that causes the spelling errors while they express their objections to the airing of a subject that affects all of us.

IOL Comments

sipho syphfliss, wrote

IOL Comments
10:22am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

what a great article, have tried several of these positions over the years, but this looks like even more pleasureable. Just wish I could get it up and keep it up long enough - any tips ??

IOL Comments

Legend, wrote

IOL Comments
10:07am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Gonna buy me a some KY Jel.......its party time in SA.

IOL Comments

Wanda G, wrote

IOL Comments
09:43am on 1 April 2011
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Hhhmmmm what a joy! Looking forward to it! Massage and all!

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Khalo, wrote

IOL Comments
09:36am on 1 April 2011
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Adults need to know what makes their partners happy sexually. However adults who know of their shortcomings should be able to get help from appropriate places. There are a lot of cheap magazines for this. Nonetheless even your other articles indicate clearly that someone died or resigned at IOL.

IOL Comments

Morning Glory, wrote

IOL Comments
09:27am on 1 April 2011
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Now this is worth reading - being practicing this for some time and believe me it works.

IOL Comments

Frog, wrote

IOL Comments
09:17am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

I am 61 and my lover is 57. Because we understand and practice what this article advocates, we have an amazing sexual relationship. Sex is a very very important part of any relationship. Not the be all and end all and, but it results in healthy sex organs for both and more importantly a sense of worth and appreciation for each other. My opinion!

IOL Comments

Justme, wrote

IOL Comments
09:17am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Finally something interesting instead of the the daily corruption and murder stories we have to put up with. As for the youngsters that might read this....I wouldnt worry about that. Todays kids already know all this stuff...just check there mixit conversations sometime

IOL Comments

Rod, wrote

IOL Comments
09:11am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Great informative article well written! It's good education for the uninformed and is a welcome to those who didn't have clue on how to satisfy their partner! Well done :--)

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
09:10am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

In the picture there are 2 okes together on the right. siestog. how do they find eachother's g spot?

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
09:09am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Newsreader obviously does not have young children. Anyone who did would be very concerned about such articles being on the front page. I agree with timeandplaceforeverything that there is indeed a time and a place for everything. Sex tips are not breaking news, and have no place on the front page.

IOL Comments

Aya, wrote

IOL Comments
09:06am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

This should not be on the front page, I read news daily in the morning a work and to have this on my screen was not a great experience, I was shocked that Iol felt free to just have this on. I think iol you are losing credebility and people who go to your site expect news not nudes so thats it for me, its not the first time you publish similar articles.

IOL Comments

azne, wrote

IOL Comments
08:58am on 1 April 2011
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ok

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Newsreader, wrote

IOL Comments
08:49am on 1 April 2011
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@timeandplaceforeverything - how sad that you cant find value in, what you call not news, you must have the most boring sex life, i feel sorry for your poor partner, or then again, you must have the best sex life ever and know all these little tricks that you feel that you dont need any tips. Anyway, maybe just stick to reading the other news articles and leave the fun for the rest of us.

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Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
08:47am on 1 April 2011
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How can I encourage my young grandchildren to read the news daily in an attempt to keep up with current affairs, when articles like this are published? On the front page, to boot.

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
08:45am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

@timeandplaceforeverything this does deserve to be in the paper. It is news for most men that women need more in sex than just a shag. Great article. Any adult who thinks otherwise does not appreciate the beauty and complexity of sex and the human body.

IOL Comments

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