‘There is no awareness on condom usage’

NOT SAFE: Dr Eve, who used AshleyMadison.com to research untraditional relationships, says people who meet online and then have sex often didn't use condoms.

NOT SAFE: Dr Eve, who used AshleyMadison.com to research untraditional relationships, says people who meet online and then have sex often didn't use condoms.

Published Dec 2, 2015

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Johannesburg - Sexologist Dr Eve believes the safe-sex message should move away from the traditional abstinence and condomise rhetoric as many people are engaging in less traditional sexual relationships.

Dr Eve (Dr Marlene Wasserman), said internet dating sites like Tinder, Grindr and AshleyMadison.com have changed how people look for sexual partners.

“When people go to the dating websites, they have clear intentions for sex. People are not necessarily looking for relationships but for physical intimacy, and these dating sites gives them that.”

For her latest book, Cyber Infidelity, Dr Eve researched using the database on AshleyMadison.com - a dating site for married people - to see how this has an impact on relationships and sexual relations.

There are more than 230 000 AshleyMadison.com users in South Africa. She said that from her research, people on the site who meet online and then meet for sex don't use condoms.

“There is no awareness on condom usage. People don't use condoms consistently. There is a level of familiarity between people because they have been chatting consistently for a few weeks. They think they are familiar with each other's sexual history, and there is also a level of personal intimacy. So when they finally meet, they don't use condoms.”

She said the risk with this was that people were more likely to have multiple partners they meet online. “The idea of safe sex is not filtering in to non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships. People have multiple attachments and the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases is high. We need to have education on the different forms of relationships. We have to move away from stereotypes.”

Dr Eve said that other than non-monogamous relationships, there were other forms of casual sex, such as friends with benefits and hook-ups, that have to be considered.

“We first have to start accepting that non-monogamy exists. If we talk about it openly and not in the dark, people will be more responsible.”

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The Star

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