London - According to Cardinal John Henry Newman, a real gentleman would never inflict pain.
But according to a modern-day list of what is gentlemanly, a good man is always on time and makes love on his elbows.
The list of 10 do’s and don’ts – compiled by Country Life magazine – also says the 21st gentleman must not own a cat, and never use Twitter.
The compilation also offers advice on the dubious habits of drinking Malibu and writing with a ballpoint, or wearing coloured trousers, and pre-tied bow ties.
A real gentleman also “curtails his drinking” before he becomes disorderly and “only makes love on his elbows”.
Country Life’s Gentlemanly Commandments have been published to mark the launch of the magazine’s Gentleman of the Year Award.
The list was developed after consultation with authors, journalists and writers – including Jeremy Paxman.
The Newsnight presenter warned that “a gentleman doesn’t dispense unsolicited advice” while Joan Collins said a modern gentleman wouldn’t ever wear brown shoes at night.
But for Richard E Grant it is a simple matter of manners.
He said: “Courtesy costs nothing – rudeness is exorbitant and never forgotten.”
Jilly Cooper said a real man “drives you home after he’s been to bed with you. He wouldn’t jump on you without asking and he wouldn’t jump off buses without paying”.
“A gentleman is never unkind, they put people at their ease, they are honourable and gallant.”
She included David Attenborough, Prince William, Ben Fogle and Steven Gerrard in her list of gentlemen.
The cardinal was quoted by cricket commentator Henry Blofeld.
* Is at ease in any situation and puts others at ease.
* Is always on time.
* Dresses for the occasion.
* Makes love on his elbows.
* Occasionally gets drunk, but never disorderly.
* Is mindful of others’ financial circumstances.
A gentleman does not…
* Wear a pre-tied bow tie.
* Drink Malibu.
* Buy fuchsia trousers.
* Put products in his hair.
* Wear Lycra.
* Write with a ballpoint.
* Plant gladioli.
* Own a cat.– Daily Mail