Lamborghini coefficient

REUTERS

A guest sits in his individual sleeping quarters in Moscows first micro hostel. The hostel offers accommodation for more than 100 people in self-contained prefabricated sleeping cells called sleepboxes, according to the hostel administration. Picture: REUTERS

SHOCKING data comes in to illustrate the skewness of wealth distribution in South Africa.

The Lamborghini coefficient – an index derived from the Gini coefficient which measures cash inequalities between the haves and the have-nots – suggests that localities such as Nkandla still have significantly less Lamborghinis than, say, Sandton.

The name “Lamborghini” is chosen as a convenient symbol. It in fact covers all sorts of luxury vehicles, from BMWs to Mercs to Maseratis to Hummers – the sort of vehicle the less privileged call a nyanyavu.

Ideally, the Lamborghini coefficient should stand at zero, meaning the number of Lamborghinis per capita in Nkandla is the same as in Sandton, Constantia and La Lucia. But the latest number crunching suggests that although there has been an appreciable increase in Lamborghini ownership in the Nkandla district in recent times, an imbalance persists.

Professor Bentley Ferrari, statistician in charge, says the exercise has had its challenges.

The Lamborghini coefficient in La Lucia, for instance, seems to surge in both directions, the changes coinciding at times with court orders. This can make accurate calculation difficult.

“What we can say with confidence is that the Lamborghini coefficient shows a definite trend toward zero, which would mean the same number of luxury vehicles per capita in Nkandla as in the more traditional centres of wealth, but we still have a long way to go.

“In this context, the initiatives around Nkandla are more than welcome – the high-speed autobahn to Pofadder; the Le Mans-style racing circuit in the Nkandla forest; the Nkandla Grand Prix through the village centre, that is going to take over from Monaco. All nudge the Lamborghini coefficient in the right direction but it will take time.”

At least the trend is right. We’ll get there. One man, one nyanyavu!

Sixties soccer

FORMER sportswriter Ianthe Exall recalls in verse those pulsating days of professional soccer in the sixties:

Remember those Durban derbies

In the days of New Kingsmead,

When football was compelling

And the players a different breed?

When United took on City

There was not an empty space

And Castle Corner raised the roof

When the teams came face to face.

Some fans were dressed in green and white

And some in white and blue,

Whichever team they followed

They were soccer fans through and through.

There was gentleman Les Salton

And dashing Dan Le Roux,

Bustling Bobby Chalmers

And “Twiggy” Exall too.

The goalies were the hard men

And I can name a few

Who thrilled the crowds week after week,

Saving shots from getting through.

Lightning, Ryder, Wootten,

Grierson and Hartmann too,

Goalies from those games long past

Played football strong and true.

There also were the brothers,

So lauded by their fans,

The Petersons, the Barratts,

The Barkers and the Manns.

And then there were the managers

Well known throughout the town,

Norman Elliot – the Silver Fox –

And gentleman Topper Brown.

Week after week the men of words

Waxed lyrical in their papers.

They covered all the matches

And described the players’ capers.

Reg Wright, Fred Forge,

Reg Sweet, Ed Gray,

Each with their special style,

With Mike Bradbury and John Holliday

They went the extra mile.

Although they brought the games to life

With words that painted pictures,

The “cartoon men”, Leyden and Lund,

Were drawing all the fixtures!

There were many, many players,

Far too numerous to name,

Who played their hearts out for their clubs

And for the love of the Beautiful Game!

Many of them were local

And some came from abroad,

And it’s thanks to each and every one

That football was adored.

Wow, what a dose of nostalgia! Reg Sweet, Fred Forge, Mike Bradbury, John Holliday – how well I knew them all. And, of course, the incomparable Jock Leyden.

Let’s get back to that sort of football – boost Bafana!

Latymer School

CALLING any past pupils of Latymer School, North London – it’s the Old Students’ Reunion on July 13 and Roger Sawyer (local representative) would like you to get in touch with him.

The school was founded in 1624 by Edward Latymer, a courtier of Elizabeth I.

Roger can be contacted at farlington@msn.com

Tailpiece

THERE was this fellow who mixed up his Valentines. Now his girlfriend thinks he loves her and his wife thinks he’s eager for sex.

Last word

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. – Michael Crichton