Durban - The wife of a well-known Durban radio and television presenter has launched an unusual high court application seeking to nullify two subsequent marriages he entered into – one of which she learned about through a Whatsapp message.
The woman, who married the presenter in a customary union in 2012, says she knew he had entered into a second customary marriage because she had been forced to attend the ceremony.
But she was completely unaware that he had married again in a civil union in October last year until wife number three sent her a WhatsApp message saying the ceremony had taken place at the Department of Home Affairs.
“At the time, I was still reeling from the announcement of the second customary marriage,” she said in her affidavit, which came before Durban High Court Judge Graham Lopes on Friday.
Wife number three – who attended court – said she needed more time to consult an attorney before responding, and the matter was adjourned until next month.
The presenter – who has children with all three women – has not yet filed any notice of opposition.
The basis of the application is the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act, which states that a husband in a customary marriage who wishes to enter into a further marriage must first make an application to the court for it to approve a written contract regulating the future matrimonial property system of the marriages.
It is believed that the law is seldom adhered to in South Africa, and the wife says it was not complied with in this case.
He was also not legally entitled to enter into the registered marriage when already married in terms of customary law, she says.
The woman was 25 when she got married at Nkandla after he paid lobolo of R40 000.
The following year, while she was heavily pregnant with their third child, her sister-in-law disclosed that he had married again “without my knowledge and definitely without my consent”.
“I was very upset. It apparently also took place at Nkandla and was officiated by the nduna.
“He had apparently already negotiated and paid lobolo. Only the first part of the ceremony took place. The second part – the official family handing-over and welcoming – was planned for later at a celebration which required my presence, in accordance with custom.
“Despite my anguish and objections, he continued to plan the second part of the ceremony. He required me to be present and to participate as if I had given my consent. After much pressure from him and his family, I felt I had no alternative but to accept this second marriage.
“The planned ceremony attracted much attention in our community, and even in the press. Much to my embarrassment, it was widely covered.”
Most hurtful, she said, was an interview he gave in which he said his “bachelor days are numbered”, as if she, and their union, did not exist.
Other reports – which said she was being difficult about the second wife because she had not had a similar “white wedding” – were untruthful and belittling, she said.
“I was terribly unhappy with the unfolding events, but felt powerless to do anything about it. I resigned myself to being the first wife, even though I had not given my permission for the marriage.”
The month before the “handing-over” ceremony, she received the WhatsApp message from wife number three, and her husband later confirmed he had married her.
“I never gave permission for that… and, in any event, in terms of the act a civil marriage to a third party cannot co-exist simultaneously with a customary marriage.
“When I married under customary law, I always considered it a possibility that he would want to take a second wife.
“I did not, however, expect, nor can I accept, that he would flout our custom, customary law and the law of the country.”
The Mercury