That was the advice from Home Affairs Minister Malusi Gigaba and his wife Noma who were out in Durban this week.
Meanwhile the minister’s ex-wife Nokthaba Gigaba threw a lavish party at the Zimbali Resort north of the city.
Nokthaba celebrated her 45th birthday with a two-day event, which started on Friday evening with a black tie dinner party.
Nokthaba made a grand entrance dressed in a designer fishtail gown.
Speaking to Independent Media, she said that she could not celebrate her 40th birthday because she was going through a divorce from the minister.
“I am a peoples’ person, I am forever happy and I always live my life to the fullest. I really looked forward to my 45th birthday because I have grown as a person and I thank God for being with me until this time.
“When I turned 40, I was going through the divorce and couldn’t celebrate happily.” she said.
Guests described her as a bubbly and happy soul.
They also admired her for her strength and courage for standing firm when she went through trials of life.
Meanwhile people got to see the gentler side of her ex-husband, Malusi who, along with Noma, were the main speakers at the Valentine’s Day special broadcast of Zulu language broadcaster Ukhozi FM held at the Moses Mabhida Stadium on Thursday.
Gigaba said that though he has a busy schedule, he always makes time for his family.
“The love I have for my wife happens naturally. I don’t intentionally go on camera to show off but cameras catch us because it comes naturally. I have no reason to hide the love I have for my wife,” said the father of three.
Noma described Gigaba as a loving husband who always buys her flowers to show remorse when they have had a disagreement.
“He buys me roses to apologise, he is a man of roses. I get home and find roses waiting for me. He is very romantic, he makes breakfast in bed, he is the one who wakes up early in the morning because he exercises at 4am then makes breakfast for me and he eats healthy,” said Noma.
She said she learnt not to respond to people who make negative comments and to those who send her private messages on social media.
One of the rules they have as a couple is for both of them not to chat privately on social media.
She was responding to questions about challenges she faced for being married to a public official.
“I advised Malusi not to respond to private messages. I told him to only respond with his work email. I also get private messages but I don’t respond. If you reply, it gets blown out of proportion. I have been written about in newspapers as a fuming Mrs Gigaba who lashed out, I don’t want that anymore,” said Noma.
In 2015 Mrs Gigabyte, as she calls herself on Instagram, was involved in an Insta spat with New York-based stylist Buhle Mkhize who allegedly had an affair with Malusi.
Noma said that she has a thick skin and knows what marriage is all about.
“When I got married, I told myself that if you love something, you fight for it and protect it. Nothing will move me from my house, should I ever move, it would have been my choice and not someone else’s,” she said.