Why the Cape city council is going south...
Pssst... want to know the real story behind the political shenanigans that have been paralysing the City of Cape Town recently?
It's nothing to do with racial tensions, flawed tender processes or nepotism in staff appointments.
It's because the Civic Centre has its main entrances facing north and south.
The Cape Argus has this on the best possible authority: His Holiness Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, right, who has called for countries to check out the layout of government buildings.
"A proper entrance to the east will bring harmony and success to the government, but an improper entrance to the south or west will be the unseen cause of a great deal of governmental problems, unrest and failures," he said in a media release this week.
He said government leaders should abandon improperly designed buildings "as if an earthquake had hit them".
"These buildings should be immediately rebuilt with a proper layout and orientation to the rising sun in the east, according to the principle of the Vedic knowledge of architecture in harmony with Natural Laws."
The "topsy-turvy" Indian government parliament buildings in New Delhi were "a prime example of the negative influences produced by an improper layout", Yogi charged.
Perhaps he has a point: think of Premier Ebrahim Rasool's political problems and the direction the provincial buildings in Wale Street face - north. The same applies to his official home, Leeuwenhof.
Why did Nelson Mandela manage to stay on a political roll for his term of office? Because parliament and Tuynhuys both face east - simple!
There are a few problems with this theory, of course - not least being the current upheaval among the tripartite alliance partners over former deputy president Jacob Zuma.
But perhaps they're all spending too much time in the Union Buildings in Pretoria, which faces south-west.
And of course, Yogi has never had to cope with the effect of the Cape Doctor on an east-facing home.
"Scientific research documents that the brain fires more coherently when an individual faces east," he says.
Sure, and in Cape Town it's usually firing off an angry message: "Close the bloody door!"