Former model and Miss SA finalist Vanessa Goosen is especially attached to Mother’s Day, after missing out for 16 years while serving a sentence for drug trafficking in a Thai prison.
Her story captivated the nation in 1994 when she was found carrying heroin concealed in books in her bag. She served 16 years and was released nearly five years ago.
Goosen
became a mother in prison in 1995, but was separated from her daughter the following year.
“My first Mother’s Day out of prison was very weird. I was not used to that kind of attention. I was not used to gifts and love. It was very emotional. I received so much love. In prison you have to be strong because you are fighting for survival,” she said.
Her daughter Felicia turns 22 in October, but Goosen remembers the first few days that she had to adjust to life without her baby.
“It was hard. I cried a lot. I was always worried whether she was okay and eating. It was not easy for me at all. It’s a pain that I could not wish away.
“It took time to heal and to understand that it was the best decision I could have taken for her. It was not fair on her to be locked up in prison.”
Goosen has documented her days as a prisoner and her subsequent release in her book, Drug Muled. The ordeal is now behind her and she has been happily married to Rupert Henry for the past two years. She met him in 2011 when the two worked together at an NGO in Rosebank, Joburg.
She said she now has two mothers, her biological mother and her aunt who raised her.
“The fact that I can pick up the phone and call both of them and bless them with a gift means a lot to me. Hearing their voices and seeing them really means a lot to me. Prison has taught me how valuable family is,” she said.
In prison she penned letters to them both to wish them a happy Mother’s Day.
She’s still trying to get used to marking Mother’s Day on May 8, since Thailand celebrates it on August 12, the day of the queen’s birthday.
While behind bars, Goosen started a project to celebrate Mother’s Day with new mothers and mothers-to-be.
“I made cards that I managed to sell outside of prison through my visitors. And I used the money to buy gifts for the mothers in prison.”
She has also kept all the letters and cards that Felicia sent her for Mother’s Day.
Her daughter is studying psychology at Monash University. She said she had forgiven her mother for the 16 Mother’s Days she missed out on.
“Mother’s Day became a very difficult day that you wished to go through very quickly. There were so many emotions that I went through. I would ask myself, Why me?” Felicia Goosen recalled.
She was raised by her mother’s best friend, who died shortly after Goosen’s release.
She said she was studying psychology because she felt if she had known as a child that “talking about how I felt would have helped me I would have done it a long time ago”.
She won’t be with her mother on Sunday, but Felicia asked Goosen to set Tuesday aside so they could spend it together.
“To me, Mother’s Day is every day because we have a lot to catch up on. When you look at her, you wouldn't believe she spent 16 years in prison.”
Independent Media