A mom’s desperate journey through the criminal justice system after her teenage daughter was allegedly groomed online and raped by a 60-year-old close friend, reveals the need to train police officers and relook at how crimes against women and children are investigated, writes Lyse Comins.
When Durban mother Melissa Pillay* opened her laptop and stumbled on the online chats about sex her 14-year-old daughter had allegedly been having with a trusted family friend, her heart broke.
The gravity of the revelation, apparent now in cold, clear type glaring from the screen, twisted like a dagger. Her worst nightmare had been confirmed.
For Pillay, the initial fear her oldest daughter was in danger of sexual grooming by a 60-year-old man she loved and fondly called “uncle”, had come months earlier.
“I walked in on this man talking to my daughter saying that out of my children, he was most attracted to her,” Pillay said.
Horrified, she went to see her lawyer who sent the man a legal letter warning him to stay away from her daughter, to which he agreed.
But he continued to speak to her on social media via Facebook and Skype, asking for photographs.
“One night I heard whispering and I tried to take her iPad away and she became quite aggressive,” said Pillay.
“I felt bad because I wasn’t trusting her. I didn’t realise how bad it was and what she was trying to hide.”
Pillay alleged the man had also stalked her on Facebook and he had “poisoned” her daughter’s mind against her.
“She is protecting him. She is in love with him. She thinks he is in love with her. I feel sick in my stomach. It is as crazy as me having a relationship with a 13-year-old,” Pillay said.
But what has made a torturous journey more painful has been the lack of compassion and the apathy of officials within the criminal justice system that met her efforts to bring the man to book.
Pillay opened a case of statutory rape at the Douglasdale Police station in Gauteng last September and she has had to pursue the police to investigate.
Like the few women with resources among the thousands of victims of sexual crimes fighting for justice in South
Africa every year, she eventually hired a private investigator to help her navigate the system that fails so many. According to the Sonke Change Trial, an initiative by Wits and
Sonke Gender Justice, SAPS crime reports indicate 500 rapes have been reported to Diepsloot SAPS since 2013 - but only one case has secured a conviction.
The SAPS Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Investigations Unit that falls under the Honeydew Cluster is responsible for Diepsloot and surrounding areas, including Douglasdale.
The report also claims that of offenders who had raped or beaten victims, 60% had done so repeatedly over the year under review.
“I’m fortunate to be assisted by a legal team, without which I’m not certain if a case would have been opened as the police seemed quite uninterested.
“The attitude was more about this being a domestic issue and not a sexual crime,” Pillay said.
She said the investigation had been “shoddy”. “The investigating officer has not returned calls, the iPad, tablet and cellphone were handed in and as far as I
know the full reports are not in yet.
“I can’t understand the delays and complete lack of interest.”
Pillay said the accused, released on R10000 bail, had appeared in the Randburg Magistrate’s Court at least five times. He has not yet pleaded.
A trial date has been set for February 2017.
She said she had earlier feared the long delays could lead to the matter being struck off the court roll.
“The police just don’t seem to even go through the docket. We need to look at the kind of individuals who become police officers.
“Is it just a job with a salary paid at the end of the month, or is there an understanding that these officers become the guardians of our society?
“Even basic questions aren’t asked, so how can they lead to a full investigation? I have wondered at times if this is a deliberate attempt to create delays to have the case thrown out of court,” Pillay said.
Meanwhile, Pillay still has to contend with the man allegedly communicating with her daughter, ahead of the trial.
“He asked her about my insurance policies and mentioned a contract killer. The accused has also created various social media profiles to comment on my posts and create embarrassment causing career and reputation damage,” she said. “I could pretend this is just something really awful that’s happened. The reality is far more harsh.
“Once a child becomes a victim of such crime, it’s almost like their character begins to unravel and they are not our children any more.
“I did not give birth to a victim of a sexual crime. She has become a stranger to us. We have no idea how far this goes and what exactly was done to her, but know from the messages found that it was an abusive relationship, with my daughter manipulated by a well-practised abuser,” she said.
Pillay is determined to remain hopeful. “I have found ways to cope and realised that something like this could destroy my life and my children.
That would be giving the paedophile more power and I will not allow myself to fall into this trap.
“I’ve chosen to live and rebuild, to keep counting my blessings in the most difficult times,” Pillay said.
Private investigator Glenda Paul of IRS Forensic Investigations said a “distraught” Pillay had called her when police refused to open a case. She said the problem was that detectives had to handle more dockets than they have capacity to investigate.
“SAPS members have become desensitised and lack empathy when dealing with complainants, but this is an international phenomenon with policing,” Paul said.
Paul believes the answer lies in improving the skills of investigators and creating special units.
“Sexual violence in South Africa is among the highest in the world despite the fact that violence against women and children are seen as priority crimes under the National Crime Prevention Strategy.
“The current SAPS Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Investigations Unit needs to be divided into specific units that deal with each crime. This unit doesn’t have the capacity to deal with the large number of violent crimes against women and children.”
Paul said the criminal justice system needed to reflect on the statistics and low conviction rates.
“We are in dire need of a change. We need deterrents such as expedited investigation, prosecution and harsher bail conditions and sentencing.
“We need a public rape offender register. South Africa does not publicise this information, which allows for repeat offenders,” Paul said.
Asked to comment on the matter, Gauteng SAPS police spokesman Lungelo Dlamini said: “Criminal proceedings are continuing in this case, therefore this office is not in a position to comment about matters that form part of evidence.
“If a private investigator is concerned about matters involving the South African Police Service resources, he may then use the right channels to raising (sic) them,” he said.
*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the minor victim