Fikile Mbalula is throwing a party tonight. A big party. So big, in fact, that it needed R65 million of our money to be spent, to make sure that Mr “Razzmatazz” hits the right note for his guests at Sun City.
Of course, any dissenting voice has been told that this is not a waste of money – it is a fitting celebration of the wonderful achievements of our sportsmen and women across the globe over the past year.
But even if each one of the nominees tonight were to be handed a cheque for R1m, as well as the new set of wheels that the winner will get, the cost wouldn’t quite reach R10m. That is assuming that the cars of choice are not the gas-guzzling German saloons that Mbalula and company need to carry out their duties.
You have to wonder how, in these times of tightening belts, the Department of Sport and (clearly) Recreation can justify blowing the other R50m in one night.
In years gone by, over-achieving sports teams had to make do with high tea and a scone in the company of former president Nelson Mandela, usually at his home, and only for a few hours before he took his nap.
It’s funny how the outstanding results on the field back then – the 1996 African Cup of Nations, the 1995 Rugby World Cup, 1996 Olympic medals – were worthy of this over-indulgence and fuss, yet there was a minimum of glamour.
Not funny “ha ha”, of course, but funny in the same way that we can only laugh when an entire cabinet of ministers is up in arms to block the release of reports into the small matter of a palatial smallholding, at any cost – at the expense of what little dignity they may still have.
Funny indeed, just like Mbalula’s reaction to Fifa general secretary Jerome Valcke’s announcement that football’s governing body would pick up President Jacob Zuma’s considerable slack, and complete the long-awaited investigation into Bafana’s alleged match-fixing.
Perhaps he is waiting for Jesus to come back, before he addresses a matter of national embarrassment.
Then again, our first citizen has bigger fish to fry than to worry about our national team’s supposed corruption.
Ah, there’s that wonderful South African buzzword again: corruption. While other sporting nations yearn to embrace ideals like development, legacy and nation-building, we have kicked those hopelessly noble ideas to the curb and carved out a niche in bending the rules and splurging on money that is meant for the most desolate among us.
If corruption was an Olympic sport, we would have a world-class academy at every municipality, and the world would be in awe, just as we are about Spain’s football, or New Zealand’s rugby.
Yes, the likes of Chad le Clos ought to be acknowledged for their incredible feats. But at what cost? When the very future of his sport is hanging on by the sort of material more suitable to a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, how much joy will Le Clos take from tonight?
Swimming, despite producing more success stories over the past year than any of our major sports, is drowning a slow and painful death, as corporates and state bodies turn their back on the sport – at least until Rio 2016 is on the horizon.
The likes of Le Clos, Roland Schoeman and Cameron van der Burgh will be fine, because they have an international profile that allows for appearance fees and invitations, but the upcoming starlets are up kak creek with no paddle.
And it’s not just swimming. There are plenty of other sports, like boxing, athletics and tennis, which punch considerably above their weight on the international scene, but are wasting away because of a lack of support.
They would do just about anything for a slice of the cake that Mbalula and company will feast on tonight. Of course, the sad irony is that it is those minor sports that usually provide Mbalula and friends the opportunity to celebrate in the first place.
But when has common sense, or mandates, or even accountability ever been allowed to get in the way of a good party?
Here’s to “Razzmatazz”. - Sunday Tribune