They're famous movie stars and billionaire businessmen, but no amount of play acting or high-powered deals can disguise the fact that, when it comes to golf, they're some of the biggest hackers around.
These are the celebrities who have been playing alongside the world's top professionals in the $5-million (about R39-million) Alfred Dunhill Links at St Andrews, Kingsbarns and Carnoustie over the past three days.
Veteran American actor Dennis Hopper, handicap 21, has appeared in many box-office hits. But his golf got so bad during his opening round at Kingsbarns that members of the media were calling him Chopper Hopper. On a couple of occasions he had spectators diving for cover with his wild duck-hooks off the tee.
Michael Douglas, who is off an 18 handicap, tries hard and looks the part but his swing (unlike his wife) is not a thing of beauty. At Kingsbarns, his golf ball seemed to have a fatal attraction for the burns and the gorse-bushes.
Herb Kohler is one of the world's most successful business tycoons. He is the man responsible for developing the American Club golf resort in Michigan with its two fabulous golf courses, Blackwolf Run and Whistling Straits. But his golf (handicap 19) is dodgy to say the least.
In his second round on the famous Old Course he took seven shots just to reach the green at the par-5 fifth hole and then, faced with a 24m putt for an eight, elected to pick up his golf ball and leave the scoring there to pro partner Thomas Bjorn.
No one can row like Sir Steve Redgrave, the Briton who won gold medals at five consecutive Olympic Games. But hitting a little white ball into the hole isn't his forte, and he struggles off a 15 handicap.
Californian wine baron Philip Wente commissioned Greg Norman to build him a course, then managed to hit three consecutive golf balls out of bounds while playing with the Great White Shark in his inaugural round.
Michael Philipp, CEO of Credit Suisse in Europe, Africa and the Middle East, was once paired with Tiger Woods and somehow contrived to hit the world No 1 with a divot.
On the credit side Johann Rupert, chairman of luxury goods manufacturers Richemont and also chairman of the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship Committee, is a pretty fair golfer (currently off a nine handicap) and a keen student of the game and the swing.
Great achievers from other sporting codes tend to make good golfers, judging by the celebrities who have teed up here in Scotland. Soccer legends Kenny Dalglish, Ruud Gullitt and Sir Bobby Charlton are off handicaps five, six and nine respectively, former Springbok rugby captain Morné du Plessis is also a five, and former English cricketer Mark Nicholas a six.