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They’re back – but do the suits fit?

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IOL may 25 ton  MIB3_CITY_E1 (25607104)

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Tommy Lee Jones is looking old and Will Smith cant really move like he used to.

When he’s not slapping male reporters with the back of his hand because “he tried to kiss me in my mouth”, Will Smith is actually a funny guy. Okay, even his facial reaction to the forceful red carpet journalist trying to tongue-kiss Willow and Jaden’s dad was pretty hilarious. But he didn’t get paid to do that.

For years Smith has been coining it as the funny guy with the big ears and Latina leading ladies by his side.

This weekend he returns in the action-packed Men In Black III and his reflexes aren’t quite the same, so he doesn’t get to do a lot of stunts but he does get to show us how a bad suit can happen to a good guy. I don’t know who needs to get fired in the wardrobe department but why could Smith not get a suit that fits him? We’ve seen him look dashing over the years in designer suits and colourful clothes that have made a comeback quicker than The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air could. So we know how he looks in a tailor-made suit.

His neck was swimming in his collar – it was so bad, you wouldn’t be laughed at for thinking it may have been Tommy Lee Jones so that he can tuck in all the turkey neck layers that he’s acquired through the years.

One lesson of this latest Men In Black feature film is that even if you’re one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, a stylist can mess your swag up.

Anyway, here are a few more things Men In Black has taught us in the past decade.

We’ve learnt that aliens aren’t really that bad.Okay, maybe not all aliens. You know, the ones that want to demolish the Earth and eat our babies? Yeah, those ones aren’t hot in the streets, but who doesn’t like Jack Jeebs? Or who doesn’t love the skeletal bunch who are the colour of pigs’ flesh? Their high-pitched voices and witty punchlines can give T-Pain a run for his money and they get to hang out at the MIB HQ. See? Not that bad.

We’ve also learned that Agent J (Smith) will always be kept out of the loop when it comes to very important things. For instance, when he was recruited, there were always not-so-pleasant surprises being sprung on him. Now there is a “secret of the universe” that he doesn’t know about. One that could have made a difference to how he grew up.

Men In Black aliens always have bad breath. Remember in the Men In Black music video, where that disgusting green monster tried to “roar” at Will Smith? Yeah, Pepe le Pew foul is what it was. We could almost smell it from the comfort of our couches.

It’s a good thing SABC1 didn’t try to copy that part of the video when they were on a mission to recreate every hot song of that year. You remember that, right? Back when they were Simunye and YO TV still had Byron?

Perhaps, most important, Men In Black has tried to teach audiences all over the world that it’s okay to be different. The message of tolerance is an important one and needs to be spread even if it’s in the form of cool computer-generated images which translate into cash money for the stars of the flick.

Basically, it’s okay to be of a different species and still live on Earth or fraternise with the locals, but if you even dare try to mess with them – like eat them or something – then you will get your butt handed to you quicker than you can put your Ray-Bans on and say: ladies and gentlemen, I need you to look at this object – cue neurolyser- and zap!

* Men In Black III 3D is out this weekend


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