Becoming a parent isn’t an inherent gene that we can switch on and off.
For some people, it takes time to nurture a relationship, especially when it comes to taking on someone else’s child that isn’t your own.
It’s not as easy as “just add water" and everything will be fine.
Just ask a Redditor who goes by the handle No_Decision_913. She had been with her boyfriend for two years.
Sharing two kids with his ex, she knew what she was getting herself into, but reminded him constantly that she didn’t want children of her own - the reason being that she was the eldest of six siblings and ended up raising them instead of her mother. She left home at age 18.
“The oldest of them is six years younger to me and I had to change his diapers and feed him formula," she explained.
But things changed two months ago when her boyfriend’s ex died, resulting in him taking the kids to live with him. The plan was for her to move in for a few months to help out.
“I couldn't refuse and stayed. But I started hating it again. I hated how clingy the kids became and how much responsibility I had. I did my best but my mental health started getting worse everyday,” she added.
And things got a lot worse when one of the children got sick and she had to nurse them back to health: “The soup wasn't same, the song and story wasn't told the same way, I didn't hug her the way her mom did etc were some of the long list of complaints.”
It triggered her and she didn’t want the responsibility of being a mom.
“I told him I can't do this. He said I needed to stop acting like a child and step up,” she wrote.
Eventually, she left and moved in with a friend.
AITAH for leaving my boyfriend when his ex died leaving him to take care of his kids full time?
byu/No_Decision_913 inAITAH
It’s a tough one, especially when women are expected to take on the maternal role, whether they want to or not.
And this seemed to be the consensus in the comments section.
“NTA. They don’t need a new mom, they need their father to step up," suggested an online user.
“Looks like he's the kind of man who thinks parenting is a ‘woman's job.' Better to leave now than later,” said another.
At the end of the day, No_Decision_913 got an upvote for not being the a**hole.
IOL Lifestyle