Durban - Bystanders who witness domestic violence do not intervene out of fear for their own safety and because society treats these incidents as private family business, say gender and domestic violence experts.
Reacting to photographs of British celebrity chef, Nigella Lawson, supposedly being choked by her art dealer husband, Charles Saatchi, People Opposing Women Abuse (Powa) director, Nonhlanhla Sibanda, said silence was typical of society because of the misconception that domestic violence was a family matter.
“If you want to do something about it, you are warned not to hang out people’s dirty laundry.”
The celebrity couple were photographed last week while having dinner at a London restaurant.
Lawson appeared tearful as Saatchi placed his hand over her mouth and around her neck.
“The patrons of that restaurant are not standing up and saying (to Saatchi), ‘what you are doing is wrong’,” said Sibanda.
But getting involved can endanger the intervener.
Neighbours who intervened when Durbanite Kerry Winter was being violated by her ex-boyfriend, Mark Arnold, were threatened by him, and backed off.
She went missing in 2008. Arnold was subsequently sentenced to life imprisonment for her murder by a Dubai court, even though her body has never been found.
Powa does not encourage members of the public to approach a situation of domestic violence, which may be dangerous.
“Rather stand up as a group, there is power in numbers,” said Sibanda.
But, Commission for Gender Equality’s Janine Hicks said public apathy was a worrying indicator of the attitude and perception that domestic violence was normal.
One of the photographs of Lawson showed restaurant patrons turning around, appearing to be looking on and disturbed by the supposed altercation. But no one did or said anything.
Hicks believes the incident “illustrates how pervasive domestic violence is in society. People think, ‘it’s not my problem, I don’t want to get involved’,” she said.
Sibanda said an abused woman may reject help because she may want the perpetrator to calm down, and to avoid a confrontation, fearing reprisals behind closed doors.
Earlier this week, Saatchi accepted a police caution for assaulting Lawson, who had since moved out “while the dust settled”.
Hicks said many people would be reluctant to even attach the label of domestic violence to such an incident.
Non-selective
She said because of the couple’s high profiles, it had ignited a debate and demonstrated the different forms of domestic violence and that it was non-selective.
“It cuts across race and class and affects empowered, educated and independent women as much as those who are not,” Hicks said.
Women like Lawson may be dissuaded from leaving an abusive relationship because they don’t want to be, “recognised as abused due to the stigma and shame associated not only with domestic violence, but victimhood. They don’t want to be regarded as a failures, be pitied and condescended”, said Hicks.
“At the heart of it is gender inequality. Boys and men are convinced they can treat women in that way because the social norms and behaviours do not condemn this kind of action as wrong. For him (Saatchi) to do this in public and then downplay it demonstrates that.”
Over and above the abused person’s own emotional and psychological turmoil, there is family and societal pressure to stay and not to disrupt the family.
Hicks said some of those who overcame these fears and went to the police for help were told to go back home and sort it out as a family.
South Africa’s Domestic Violence Act contains sufficient protection for victims, but there were significant shortcomings in the implementation of its provisions such as the enforcement of protection orders and access to the courts, said Hicks.
“This enables ongoing impunity.”
However, police spokesman Captain Thulani Zwane said the service takes domestic violence cases so seriously that even when a victim subsequently withdraws the case with the police, it has to go to the courts for withdrawal.
He said some police stations even had facilities for “victim empowerment” where those who were abused were attended by police officers, usually women, trained to deal this kind of issue.
He added that members of the public who witnessed incidents of domestic violence had the right to report them to police on behalf of the victim. - Daily News