In this file photo, US actor and director John Travolta works the crowd at a book signing of Scientology founder Ron Hubbard's best seller Battlefield Earth.

An IOL Lifestyle story about the things that dogs would never say caused IOL staff to start musing on the things that celebrities would never say. Here’s what we came up with...



Jeremy Clarkson: The icebergs are melting so you all need to slow down and buy more efficient cars.

2. John Travolta: I'm here and I'm queer!

3. Kim Kardashian: Maybe I should put on more clothes and less make-up.

4. Steve Hofmeyr: I always supported the Stormers.

5. Khanyi Mbau: I’m marrying you for love, darling.