Ishmael recalls the moment when he decided he needed help to get off the downward spiral of cocaine and alcohol: “We were hitting it hard one night and then everyone left my place. I felt so lonely and depressed, angry, paranoid. All I wanted to be was in a dark corner. That’s when the pain used to hit me, after everyone left.”
The singer then phoned Ghetto Ruff’s CEO, Lance Stehr, and asked for help. Stehr immediately sprang into action and a day later Ishmael was booked into Houghton house where he stayed for a month.
“When I checked in, I was as nervous as a m**********. All I knew, however, was that I need help before I wound up dead.”
Ishmael’s long-time association with his record label, Ghetto Ruff, has also ensured he has consistently released Sama-winning material, in turn ensuring a strong support system from Stehr and his staff.
He was first discovered as a dancer in Hillbrow clubs by Ghetto Ruff’s first group, Prophets of Da City. He then graduated to being a rapper in POC before starting the ground-breaking kwaito group, Skeem.
His vocal abilities were highlighted when he released his first solo project, Mi House, which was a house- inspired EP.
Then he really came to the fore as an R&B singer with yet another ground-breaking album, From E’Smile to Ishmael. This was a seminal album at a time when R&B was something only Americans did.
Two solo albums later and he had hooked up with Da Les and Bongani Fassie, resulting in the progressive, ethno/hip hop/pop beats of Jozi.
He is the only South African artist to have played at all four presidential inaugurations – which attests to his talent and survival skills.
However, 10 years ago he had his first taste of cocaine.
“I was at some club on Rivonia Road. It felt beautiful. It was the most beautiful thing on earth. I was king of the whole world. I was so cocky and so confident. Heaven opened up for me.”
Having been raised in a small village in the North West, as his grandmother worked in the city, did his problems begin back in his childhood?
Ishmael firmly shakes his head.
“It’s got nothing to do with my childhood. There are people who can control their alcohol and who won’t do it for a month. In my case I am an alcoholic. I don’t know when to stop. The only way to stop is when I die. I’m an alcoholic. That is my sickness.
“When I saw money in my account, that was the first thing I thought of. If I was happy, I’d get a gram. If I was sad, I’d get a gram. I didn’t know how to control my feelings, how to deal with them. Coke just makes everything nice.
“Back in the day we would book into a hotel and have these wild parties. I never did it alone. Cocaine needs company.
“I realised I had a problem when I started fighting with people close to me. I was behaving like an a******.”
For those who know Ishmael, he is one of the few artists who does not and never has had an ego. He is a musician first and foremost.
He is generally one of the most chilled, most humble and sweetest people I have ever had the pleasure of engaging with.
His description of his behaviour during his addiction goes against everything the man is about.
“I ended up not having feelings. Like someone could tell me: ‘Oh, Therese passed away’, and I would be ‘Oh, that’s terrible’, but I would be feeling like a piece of wood inside.
“I never laughed from the inside. Addiction pretty much messes with your soul. I didn’t give a damn.
“It became too painful. I got so depressed. I felt powerless. It took over ‘me’. I would use it at least twice a week. Then I would take two days to recover and miss out on work opportunities.
“I didn’t want to see anyone. I would lock myself in my room and close the curtains.”
And now that he is out of rehab and has faced his demons?
“I have taken order and focus from rehab. I can see my life and I know what to fix. And it’s easy. Before I would take easy things and make them so difficult.
“I am light now and I want to talk about all the things I never spoke about. I never spoke about deep stuff much anyway. In rehab I wrote 60 stories about using and I have pages of my life from beginning to end.
“I am determined not to go back there again. I will take it one day at a time and this is how I must live my life.”