Let’s talk about '90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days' love show

Darcey and Jesse at a park in New York. Picture: TLC

Darcey and Jesse at a park in New York. Picture: TLC

Published Feb 26, 2019


They say that anything is possible and that when in love, people do some crazy things.

I beg to differ - there is no way I would date and then fall in love with someone who lives across the world and someone I have never met.

I certainly would not send said person money regularly either. Yet there are people who do just that - they meet online, fall in love and then rush into a marriage that either works or fails.

Now that I am done passing judgment, let’s talk about "90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days".

If you are not familiar with the show, let me catch you up.

"90 Day Fiance" is an American documentary series on TLC that first aired in 2014. It follows couples who have applied for or received a K-1 visa, which is available uniquely to foreign fiancés of American citizens and therefore have 90 days to decide to marry before the visas of the foreign half of the couple expire, and they must leave the US.

Many of the couples know very little about each other ahead of them living together for the first time. The show documents their struggles, the never-ending drama with family members, the secrets that are revealed and the eventual walk down the aisle.

If the couples didn’t meet online it was through other ways like a Bible study trip, as was the case with season two couple, Danny Frishmuth from Pennsylvania and his now wife, Amy, from Cape Town.

Now in its second season, "90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days" follows the lives of seven couples trying to make their relationship work.

The new season sees the return of 44-year-old Darcey and her 26-year-old Dutch toy boy, Jesse, as well as 34-year-old Paul and 21-year-old Brazilian, Karine.

There is something very uncomfortable about watching Darcey and Jesse interact with each other, maybe it’s his evident lack of love for her or her desperation to be loved by him.

We were also introduced to 54-year-old Angela, who met her 30-year-old Nigerian boyfriend online and 43-year-old Tarik, who also met his 25-year-old Filipino girlfriend online. Then there’s 33-year-old Rachel, who flew from the state of New Mexico, with her newborn baby, to England to meet her online lover, Jon, who she met through karaoke and who was nowhere in sight when she landed at London’s Heathrow airport.

There is also 33-year-old Ricky who, although he has never met her, regularly sends money to Melissa, a 28-year-old Colombian who he describes as the woman of his dreams.

I must admit, at some point I thought that Ricky was certainly dreaming about the woman he chatted to online after she made him wait almost three hours before showing up to their first date.

The couples have the same but different circumstances - there is the language barrier, the age difference and the biggest of the lot is certainly the different cultural backgrounds.

"90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days" certainly gives the viewer a different perspective on love.

90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days airs every Thursday at 20:00 on TLC (Dstv channel 135).

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