Move over Bridezilla, the mommy monster has arrived

Published Feb 21, 2019

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Forget baby shark, here comes baby Sussex.

The first born child of Britain’s Prince Harry and former actress Meghan Markle is due in mid-April, and we suspect the royal bundle is going to cause a commercial boom in baby products.

Why else would Netflix give the world Yummy Mummies right now?

The Australian series, which premiered on Channel Seven in 2017 and is airing on Netflix now, follows four well-to-do pregnant women.

Commercialising motherhood and surely cashing in on it are Melbourne friends Lorinska Merrington, Rachel Watts and Jane Scandizzo. Producers appears to orchestrate their meeting with Adelaide’s Maria Di Geronimo.

The show has been called everything from over-the-top to scripted and while it’s not worth watching, chances are the competition will have you hooked.

These rich rivals take it they’re schooling other moms on push presents, breastfeeding and baby showers. 

The premise is set from the very beginning – in episode one Lorinska pulls out a shawl that Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, carried one of her three children out in. This is baby as accessory.

Queue designer dummies in gold; matching designer outfits; baby scans on party balloons; and worse of all, fully pregnant women prancing around in high heels.

It’s game on as royal baby fever hits the generation supposedly with the most economic clout at present and the competition is showing up the cultural IQ of these millennial moms.

Millennials are born between the mid-’80s and the late-’90s. (That’s somewhere between Meghan’s 37 years of age and their 21st birthdays.)

We know from research millennial moms, if they do, tend to have kids when they’re 30 or older.

We also know this lot influence each other more than they are influenced by any other group.

So what will The Meghan Effect do to motherhood?

We hope Yummy Mummies isn’t the answer.

DiGeronimo, who has since the show separated from and reunited with her fiancé Carlos Vannini, has Versace, Burberry and numerous other designer outfits for her baby girl from birth to – get this – about the age of 14, but goes on a babymoon just weeks before her due date without her hospital bag and even a sanitary pad for when her water breaks. When she goes into labour, hubby doesn’t even know where the hospital entrance is.

(Burberry matchy matchy is certainly a global trend already, see below a picture from 2018 posted by SA’s Kenny Kunene and family to the account @babybillionairekunene)

The other girls appear to live equally extravagant, entitled and glamorous lives.

Lorinska, a traffic reporter, model, and primary school teacher, is married to former Carlton footballer Andrew Merrington. Jane, also a model, is married to hair stylist Joey Scandizzo while Rachel is a retail manager married to real estate agent Jayson Watts.

The three appear to have been cast in a Sex and the City mould.

Rachel has Sarah Jessica Parker’s blazing blue eyes and even wears her hair in that tight top-of-head bun Parker would. 

Lorinska’s height and sex talk is all Kim Cattrall and pretty and polite Jane is very Kristin Davis.

How real reality television is, we can’t say for sure; however, resultant marital breakdown, hideous music videos and Instagram kids accounts tell us these women are really reaching for fame.

Move over Bridezilla – the mommy monster has arrived. 

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