International Anti-Bullying Week: How to tell if your child is being bullied

As the world marks International Anti-Bullying Week, Marchelle Abrahams asks the experts how parents can look out for the signs.

Celita Jenecker, 17, was tormented by her bullies for three years. As a result she had anxiety attacks and even tried to commit suicide.

“The bullying started in Grade 8, but things escalated in Grades 9 and 10. All my 42 classmates made my school days a living hell,” she said.

“They abused me emotionally. They would say I am ugly and tell me they hate me. I believed everything they told me. Most of the time I did not want to go to school because I knew I couldn’t concentrate.”

Fortunately, she’s taken her power back, and now the matric pupil is hoping to inspire other victims of bullying by raising awareness in her Mitchells Plain community.

Celita’s story is nothing new, but it certainly is not the last.

As the world marks International Anti-Bullying Week (November 13-19), the latest stats paint a grim picture. Just recently Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga claimed South African pupils are “the most bullied kids in the world”.

“Studies say kids who are bullied don’t perform well in school because they are depressed, they have low self-esteem and they are just generally unhappy,” Motshekga added.

As parents, we are always mindful of how our children react or behave in certain situations. But how can you tell if they are the victims of bullying if they are too afraid to tell you?

Online counselling project manager at Childline, Bhavna Lutchman, says there are tell-tale signs, including your child coming home with torn clothing, sore with injuries, and with no adequate explanation.

He or she may be reluctant to go to school or play with peers. The bullying may even start to affect their school work. There’s also the matter of their self-esteem taking a hit, “with them becoming increasingly withdrawn and isolated”.

The child also appears to be reluctant to participate in activities at school.

“Bullies are children with problems and often children who bully are being bullied or hurt themselves, feel powerless and have poor self-esteem,” adds Lutchman. “Bullying is often a way of trying to feel in control, and it can become a pattern of behaviour that lasts a lifetime.”