The lockdown has revealed and also confirmed a lot of things about me.
I have confirmed that I love alone time, that I actually prefer phone calls than texts, and I have made inroads with my mental health.
I thought I was going to rely on social media a lot, but I only go online for a certain time during the day and the rest of the time I’m busy with work.
But I have also realised something - I don't really care for cooking.
In fact, I am tired of cooking. Those are words I never thought I would ever say or in this case, write. But I am. It’s a schlep and as much as I love time spent in the kitchen, I just realised I don’t love it as much as I thought I did.
Initially I was excited about getting to cook more than I usually do. The eve of the lockdown in South Africa, I gorged myself on Chicken Licken’s hotwings and some Stoney ginger beer. And then I got ready to flex my culinary muscles.
Grilled cheese sandwich with avocado and biltong salad.
PICTURE: Buhle Mbonambi
It was fun in the beginning. I was actually eating breakfast (and it was a proper spread that would induce Instagram envy), I was cooking lunch and dinner - from burgers and homemade sweet potato fries, creamy vegetable pasta, chicken curry, veggie wraps and butter chicken - and making all the sandwiches I had been planning to make for the longest time.
I took to it with gusto, experimenting and doing my own spin on recipes. But it soon got old. Two weeks into the lockdown I just want to do the barest minimum. I look at all the people sharing videos and pictures of their meals on social media and I wish I had the energy to cook up a storm again.
When news of the lockdown extension got announced, I was upset for a few minutes. Even though at the back of my mind I knew the lockdown would be extended, I was also looking forward to all the restaurants and fast food joints opening up again as well as coffee shops.
It was at that point that I realised just how I am tired of cooking. And a part of me is upset about it.
Will I still do it? Of course, I have no other choice but to. There's another three weeks to go before the end of the lockdown.
However I think I’m going to have to dig deep to find the joy that cooking used to bring me.