February is the month of love and a chance to get romantic over dinner, share a love letter and maybe take a secret crush or small time flirtation into the relationship realm.
When I was young, naive and had stars in my eyes, Valentine's Day was probably one of the most important days of the year for me. I remember every year I'd eagerly book a table at a romantic restaurant and I'd look longingly into my now-husband's eyes over a candlelit dinner. These days after being married for more than 10 years, we barely acknowledge it with a simple grunt in the morning and a quick kiss. It's then forgotten for the rest of the day.
Maybe it's the comfort of knowing that we don't need a romantic holiday to declare our love for each other or maybe we've become complacent. Which is why, I went in search of inspiration and asked some local celebrities about what romance and Valentine's Day truly means to them. Here's what they had to say...
Zoe Brown, presenter on Expresso
"My Valentine's Day is usually spent with my single girlfriends where we go for brunch or cocktails and a soppy movie!"
What does romance mean for Zoe?
"To me romance is seen in the small things you do for someone else, from knowing their favourite flowers and music to what essentially gives them butterflies.
"Romance does not equate to expensive things, but rather the smaller and personal gestures."
Chris Jaftha, Top Billing presenter
The TV presenter and model takes it back to his youth while describing his most romantic Valentine's Day memory. "I was 16 and somehow won a prize dinner to a restaurant that Neil Tovy owned in Bryanstone. The fact that I was so young made it feel like a fairytale – there was no ocean, no mountain, but a great dinner with a girl I had a huge crush on. The fact that she came to dinner with me and didn't reject my offer was romantic enough", muses Chris.
For him it's simplicity that wins the key a partner's heart. "My idea of romance is to be surrounded by nature, saturated with it; be it on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean; in the wild surrounded by lions, elephants and leopards and all sorts of wild creature – to pull out a blanket and small table, two chairs, some bubbly and good food with a magical sunset."
Chris Jaftha. Picture: Itumeleng English
Mishka Patel, presenter on Pasella
My best Valentine's Day ever!
"Definitely when my boyfriend surprised me with a Valentine's day weekend away at a lodge in Hermanus for our second year anniversary. It was so cliché but so sweet, with rose petals, heart-shaped chocolate's and the works!"
Romance can be found in many moments says Mishka, "Anything that gives me butterflies. A great, deep conversation over a good meal is romantic. A scenic drive along the beach. A picnic on the beach. I am a sucker for romance though, so with myself and Donovan romance comes easily – even after five years."
Mishka Patel. Picture: Supplied
Seth Shezi, lifestyle strategist and Instagram king
"Last year was pretty special – my partner and I had the most glorious weekend at Majeka House in Stellenbosch. Nothing quite like being pampered in pure luxury to soak away the stress!"
Seth's idea of romance is "when a partner makes a concerted effort to engage with, or dedicate time to doing something they might not necessarily enjoy but do it for the enjoyment of the other. "
Yip true love is all about sacrifice.
Leigh-Anne Williams, TV and radio presenter
"My best Valentine's Day ever was spent on a desert safari in Dubai which was followed by an incredible dinner under the stars, my first ride on a camel and a spectacular show of belly dancing and partying under the stars. I wasn't with a romantic partner but it was an incredible experience that made me fall in love with Dubai."
For Leigh-Anne, it's the small gestures that matter the most when it comes to romance, "My idea of romance is being able to sit across a table from the one that I love and talk about anything and everything – or even not talking at all, just knowing that I feel safe and know that this person gets me.
"Big gestures of love are okay, but I enjoy quiet candlelit dinner moments or even a walk under the stars on a beautiful beach."
Bring the passion back into your relationship:
- Spend more time together to enhance emotional intimacy
- People focus so much on the sex that they forget to kiss and focus on sensuality
- What happens in the bedroom depends largely on what happens out of the bedroom.
- Avoid boredom by trying new things, for example use a vibrator or sexual aid, etc
- Be adventurousness: try out different positions and different places to have sex
- You actually have to like your partner first – feel emotionally connected and spend enough time together to rekindle an old flame.
- Be bold and brave and just do it! There is no right or wrong here.
* Dr Elmari Mulder Craig is a well-known sexologist, marital and relationship expert. Visit her website.
Dr Elmari Mulder Craig is a well-known sexologist, marital and relationship expert.
*Marchelle Abrahams is national family writer for Independent Media. Mail her your love story or contact her at [email protected]