Question: It has been four months since my wedding and I am still upset about the speech my husband's best friend gave at the reception.
He has always been like a brother to my husband and I have welcomed him with open arms into our lives, and I considered him one of my best friends. But his speech was crass, sarcastic and unflattering to me and my husband.
My husband gave him a pass and said he was nervous and had drunk too much. I feel like he embarrassed us at the biggest day of our lives and it has tainted the whole wedding day to me.
Answer: I doubt you'll be able to stop thinking about this until you figure out how to move on with your relationship with this guy. Presumably his Toast for the Ages was not enough to make you sever the relationship completely, so you need a path forward. What would you require: An apology? An acknowledgment? His fully listening as you get it off your chest? Letting things just get back to normal, with his being the mensch he always was?
Certainly, time can lessen the sting, but it will be helped by your making an effort to establish and relish the positive memories of your wedding day, through photos and others' recollections. More good stuff equals less space for the bad stuff.
I know lots of people will write me and say that this whole concern is petty, but I hope they realise that this is about being hurt by a close friend, not about a wedding being less than perfect. Right?
*Bonior, a Washington-area clinical psychologist, writes a weekly relationships advice column in The Washington Post's Express daily tabloid