Want a happy marriage? Talk to each other

London - Newlyweds, are you rushing home to your loved one, ready to fling off your coats and get on that sofa...for a good natter?

Well you should be, because, forget sex - the secret of a happy marriage is real conversation.

A study of 2 000 men and women who have been married for a decade or more revealed their best single piece of advice to newlyweds was that it's good to talk.

Surprisingly a good sex life came 18th, trailing behind patience, honesty, respect and fidelity.

The second-placed piece of advice was to compromise, followed by 'keep going' and persevere with the marriage, despite tough times and obstacles.

Only one percent of respondents specifically mentioned the importance of a good sex life.

The research quizzed long standing couples on the secrets of how to survive 10 years of marriage.

Interestingly just three percent mentioned being faithful in their words of wisdom while other nuggets of advice to newlyweds was to “keep working on it”, “listen” and “have patience”.

Reinforcing the importance of keeping things light, another popular piece of advice was to “have a good sense of humour” and “keep laughing”.

Another often-quoted piece of advice was “never go to sleep on an argument”.

There were some unexpected pieces of advice too, with a number of people simply stating “don't get married”, while others cautioned: “don't let the in-laws interfere'“

Children were also a bone of contention for some couples, with a small number of people advising “don't have children”, while others said: “don't have kids until you have saved up loads of money” or “don't have kids straight away”.

Those who go into marriage hoping to change their partners were given a dose of reality, with the advice: “Don't have unrealistic expectations of changing someone to suit yourself”.

Remembering that a marriage lasts well beyond the wedding day was another popular theme with couples being urged to stick at their relationship and 'expect the ups and downs, it's not all a bed of roses, but don't give up too easily'.

Sarah Thompson, a lawyer for Slater & Gordon, who commissioned the study, said: “What's clear from my work as a family lawyer is that marriage can be hard work.

“When I speak to clients about the reasons their relationship has ended, it's often for the same reasons: problems communicating and not being able to compromise.

“Sadly, despite the best intentions in the world, not every marriage will last forever. That is why I'm delighted that Slater & Gordon is now offering lawyer-supported mediation to couples who would like to sort out their differences at the end of their relationship away from the courts.

“As this research has shown, communication and compromise can be the key to a happy marriage, but they are also the attributes that can help resolve a relationship that is over in the best possible way for all parties involved.”

The top twenty tips for a long and happy relationship

1. Talk

2. Compromise

3. Keep going

4. Work at it

5. Don’t give up on the marriage too easily

6. Don’t go to bed on an argument

7. Be patient

8. Listen

9. Be honest

10. Have respect

11. Be tolerant