Love life lost its sizzle? Here's what to do
If you've lost that frisky feeling, you're not alone. Research shows that nearly a third of women and 15 percent of men lack the desire to have sex regularly. But there are things you can do to put the sizzle back into your sex life. Jumpstart your libido with these expert-approved lifestyle changes.
Plan more date nights
If a fun Saturday night with your hubby means watching Netflix in sweatpants, it could be killing your sex drive. Rekindle your romance by getting out of the house for an old-fashioned date.
Check your meds
Take a look at your medicine cabinet - your prescriptions could be behind your lower libido. Aside from birth control pills, common offenders include drugs for high blood pressure, gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), anxiety, and depression.
Divide household chores equally
After a long day of work, you may head home for your other full-time job: being a parent. After the kids go to bed, there's often clean up followed by work that you've brought home. As a result, intimacy gets pushed to the background.
Set your room up for romance
It's easy to get in the habit of letting your kids crawl into bed with you after they've had a bad dream, or sharing cuddle time with your cat or dog. These are major mood killers. Keep the kids and pets out by simply locking the bedroom door at night.
Add sex to your to-dos
We schedule doctor's appointments, work meetings, and drinks with friends - so why not sex? It's not the most romantic approach, but setting aside a specific time with your significant other means you're making a commitment to having an active sex life.
Use a lubricant
Getting in the mood can be almost impossible if sex is painful for you - but it doesn't have to be. One of the leading causes is dryness. If vaginal dryness is causing pain during intercourse, try using a silicone-based sexual lubricant or a vaginal moisturizer.
De-stress before sex
Everyday stressors - your job, your kids' grades, the leaky bathroom faucet - have a more powerful effect on your sex life than you may realise. Being stressed causes your body to produce more of the "fight or flight" hormone cortisol, which your body needs in small doses but can suppress the libido when the body produces an excess.
Following a heart-healthy diet could help you turn up the heat between the sheets. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found a link between high cholesterol and women who have difficulty with arousal and orgasm. When cholesterol builds up in the arteries, it makes it harder for blood to flow; in the pelvic area, that can lead to less sensation in the genitals, making it harder to achieve orgasm.
A growing body of research shows that certain vitamins and components can enhance sexual function and desire. Avocados, almonds, strawberries, and oysters are just a few foods that may set the mood. Here's the full list of foods for better sex.
Examine your relationship
A slow sex drive may be a sign of broader relationship problems outside the bedroom. It could be bottled-up resentment over lots of minor issues (he left his toothbrush on the counter again?) or something bigger, like a lack of communication (like too much texting and not enough actual talking). If the relationship quality needs professional help, find a licensed marriage and family therapist in your area.
Go for a hike together
Or a run, gym class, cooking seminar - any hobby or interest that you and your partner can do together. This can strengthen your emotional connection, and feelings of support boost desire.
Less stress, an improved mood, and higher self-esteem are all health benefits of exercise - and together they can rev up your sex drive.
Listen to your body
Sometimes, a slow sex drive winds up being one symptom of a larger medical problem. So if along with your low libido you begin noticing weight gain, dry skin, hair loss, and fatigue, don't ignore it - you may be suffering from a thyroid problem.
No dice? Visit your doc
If your engine's still stalled after these lifestyle tweaks, prescription drugs may help. Certain medications, such as testosterone or Wellbutrin, can be used on an off-label basis for the treatment of low libido and are only available with a prescription.
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