File photo: Moore’s daughter Tilly, now 8, came into the world without any complications. Picture: Pexels.
File photo: Moore’s daughter Tilly, now 8, came into the world without any complications. Picture: Pexels.

Shocked and confused, pregnant virgin gives birth without ever having sex

By Marchelle Abrahams Time of article published Mar 11, 2021

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It’s not something you hear every day.

But Nicole Moore’s story might have some substance and truth to it.

Moore says she was 18 when she started dating her then-boyfriend who would soon become the father of her first child – despite the pair never having had sex.

The teacher, from Hampshire in the UK, gave birth to a girl, earning her the nickname “Virgin Mary” when she was 20.

When the couple met, they weren’t able to have sexual intercourse as the pain was unbearable for her.

"We tried but it was impossible. I didn't understand why it couldn't happen. But doctors told me I was fine, so I just believed for a while that there was something wrong with me," the 28-year-old was quoted as saying by LADbible.

“The only way I can describe it is like it felt like he was hitting a brick wall."

What she didn’t know at the time was that she was suffering from vaginismus, a common and painful condition that can have a huge impact on women.

WATCH: What can help vaginismus?

The result was that she and her boyfriend found other ways to be intimate with each other without penetrative sex.

"One day at work, I started getting terrible heartburn and sore breasts. My boss at the time, who was a close friend and knew about my situation, said she thought I could be pregnant," she said.

"I laughed and said there was no way, as I was still a virgin and never had penetrative sex.

"But she said it was possible if there had been any fluids near my vagina, despite not actually having intercourse."

One pregnancy test later and she realised she was pregnant.

Shocked and confused, Moore consulted a professional who confirmed that while rare, it was possible to get pregnant without having penetrative intercourse if the sexual activity introduced fluids to the vaginal area.

“I remember going for a check-up at the hospital and not being able to have an internal examination because the nurse couldn’t insert her finger.

“I tried explaining to her that I still hadn’t had sex and she said to me :‘Don’t be ridiculous of course you have.’

“I thought I was never going to get anyone to believe me or get answers.”

During a routine check-up when she was four months pregnant, a student doctor suggested Nicole Moore might have vaginismus.

After months of therapy, Moore decided to take the plunge and have sex, but she does admit: “I still can’t do certain things, like insert a tampon, but I feel very fortunate that I am now able to have a normal sex life”.

What is vaginismus?

Vaginismus occurs when someone has persistent or recurrent difficulties in allowing vaginal entry of a penis, finger or any object, despite her wish to do so, The Conversation’s Dr Anita M Elias writes.

Some women experience fear, difficulties or pain from the first time they try to insert something into their vagina and instead of getting better, it can get worse. This is called “primary vaginismus”, noted Elias, who also specialises in sexual medicine and relationship therapy.

Others can be fine for years and develop pain at some later date. This is “secondary vaginismus”.

“Vaginismus can be mild, moderate or severe. The pain is often described as burning, cramping or a tight feeling. And for some, nothing can go into the vagina. Sufferers describe it as akin to hitting a brick wall,” added Elias.

“Those who suspect they may have vaginismus should initially seek help from GPs, gynaecologists, pelvic-floor physiotherapists, sexologists or psychotherapists who have experience with this condition.”

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