The Slimline Suction Lover G-Spot Vibrator delivers the perfect blend between intense G-spot stimulation and clitoral suction technology. Picture: Lizzy Bliss
The Slimline Suction Lover G-Spot Vibrator delivers the perfect blend between intense G-spot stimulation and clitoral suction technology. Picture: Lizzy Bliss

This vibrator sucks, literally

By Lifestyle Reporter Time of article published Oct 10, 2020

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By Lizzy Bliss

Ever since the mid-1980s, the rabbit vibrator has been the No1 selling sex toy worldwide. It revolutionised the industry, and many consider it to be the perfect sex toy for women, one of those great inventions that simply can’t be improved.

However, it was only a matter of time before the clitoral sucking vibrator made headlines.

Just as the Rabbit Vibrator got an unforeseen headstart with an entire episode of Sex And The City dedicated to it, the clitoral sucking vibrator gained overnight stardom from an unlikely source – an anonymous Amazon review from a stay-at-home mom.

The review (From April 2019) sent Amazon buyers into a frenzy which resulted in the product selling out overnight. The review has since gone viral around the world. But was this just a grand marketing scheme or did they just revolutionise sex toys? It’s hard to trust reviews online, especially ones that fetch this much attention. So, I decided to see what the fuss is all about.

The review itself was hysterical and had over ten thousand retweets the first day and eleven thousand the next day. It’s easy to see why when you look at parts of the review:

"My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared.

“I never came so fast and so hard in my life.”

"I’m brought back into my earthly body after managing to pull it off me throwing it across my bed, it falls to the floor, still buzzing happily away.“

"I shook for a good 5 minutes, i couldn’t get up off the bed if even wanted to. I stared at my ceiling dazed trying to remember who i am and what year is this.“

Twitter reacted with some great tweets in response to the review:

@BearsFanJordan (Jordan Hamilton): “I’m a straight dude and even I’m sold based on the strength of that review."

@brattyjones (hunny bunny): “my mom and i just laughed so hard we were hyperventilating, whoever this woman is i love her”

So, how does this thing work?

There are a few models out there, some of them are smooth on the vibrator end and some ribbed, but in principle, all models function similarly.

The toys are usually made from a combination of silicone and ABS plastic, and depending on the model completely waterproof. The top part or "outer" part has air technology similar to the Womanizer Liberty which physically goes over the clitoris to suck but not touch the clitoris.

The suction creates gentle (or not so gentle depending on the setting) massaging airwaves that lead to an entirely new kind of experience. It was designed this way, so women don’t get overstimulated and for women who are more sensitive in that area.

The business end of this toy acts as a regular vibrator. The shaft is designed with an upward curve to deliver intense pinpoint vibrations to your entire G-spot area. The result is that you end up with both G-spot and clitoral stimulation (with air stimulation technology) at the same time.

Just when you thought orgasms couldn’t get more complicated.

The results?

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my hands on the Tracey’s Dog version from the review. Luckily, I run an online sex shop, so I sourced a similar version and put it to the test, namely: The Suction Lover G-Spot Vibrator (Somebody has to rethink these names).

In my opinion, it’s pretty presumptuous to state a toy will make you orgasm in 2 minutes or less.

To be fair, the one I tested didn’t make the same bold claim as Tracey’s Dog. But there are a lot of factors to consider when it comes to solo playtime and the length of time it takes to reach orgasm. It really depends on the setting, your mood, stress levels, etc.

Most studies indicate that women, on average, need 15-20 minutes to orgasm when using a sex toy alone.

I didn’t have a big list of test subjects available, so I stepped up and did a test myself, you know, for science!

I timed my average orgasm time to about ten minutes using my trusty old rabbit vibrator.

My time to reach an orgasm with the suction vibrator? Just under four minutes. Not the two minutes as advertised but it was a record for me, as far as I can recall. I don’t usually time these things.

Pros and Cons

The Cons

● It was indeed somewhat challenging to get the positioning right. You might think it’s intuitive, but it takes some testing and twisting and turning to hit the spot. This probably took about a minute so let’s cut that orgasm time down to three minutes.

● This type of toy can be expensive, so you might have to shop around a bit. There’s not a single dominating toy in the market though, and from what I’ve seen, they all do the job equally well.

The Pros

● You’ll reach orgasm faster than usual.

● It feels almost, but not quite entirely, unlike you’re receiving oral sex. The sensation is difficult to explain, but I firmly believe that “Stay at home mom” got it spot-on.

● Multiple orgasms are much easier as your clitoris doesn’t get overstimulated (BIG PLUS)

● It works, and it works damn well.

The verdict?

The toy works, undoubtedly, and it comes with a unique sensation which is pretty impressive.

But, I’m not going to throw away my trusty old rabbit vibrator. Let’s just say, there’s enough space in my toy chest for this one and if there weren’t I would make space.

Visit Lizzy Bliss for more info

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