By Rebecca Cascade and Elizabeth Fiala
Money is a great social sorter: "Who buys Manolos versus Mr Price? Pricey cocktails versus beers?" says Liz Perle, author of Money, A Memoir: Women, Emotions And Cash (Picador, R142).
So true, and when you and your friend are in different categories, it can get tense. We bring you expert advice for sticky scenarios.
"I order sensibly, while my friend orders the best. When the bill comes, she expects us to split it down the middle!"
"It's always best to be honest. Tell her that you don't think it's fair to pay the same amount when you always order less-expensive items," says Jenny Hall, financial adviser at Financial Insight and Guidance in Cape Town. And if your friend disagrees with you, Jenny advises that you suggest cheaper outings. There is nothing wrong with gossip over coffee and cake.
"My friend is always talking about renovating her home, and I can barely afford rent."
"It's a tough topic to broach because you don't want to seem petty," says Olivia Mellan, author of Money Shy To Money Sure (Walker and Co., R269).
"But being jealous is normal." Just be honest. Say, "I'm a bit envious of your home. It's best we don't discuss it too much."
My friend at work got a huge raise and I'm jealous!"
"Assess and improve your performance - you want the raise next time," says Anya Kamenetz, author of Generation Debt: Why Now Is A Terrible Time To Be Young (Riverhead, R270,95).
She also notes, "It's not a good idea to discuss what you earn. People usually wish they hadn't."
"My friends are coining it and like to go to posh clubs where I can barely afford the cover charge!"
"Explain the situation," says Jenny. "Find a club in your area that's less pricey but just as fun." And if they still want to go to expensive places, let them. "Say, 'If you want to do this, I can only join in once a month'," says Jenny.
"I lent a friend money and she hasn't paid me back, but still buys pricey things."
"Gently propose a payment," says Liz. But if that fails, she suggests you let it go. You've learnt a key lesson: if you need the money back, you can't afford to lend it!
"My friends always expect me to pick up the tab at dinner."
Why do they expect you to treat them? Did you offer to pay a few times, and they got used to it? "We treat friends to show love, but that should be occasional," says Liz. "Just say, 'Let's go somewhere we all can afford'."
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