What is orgasm control and how can it improve your sex life?

For most, edging, peaking or surfing is used as an orgasm control sexual technique. Picture: Pexels

For most, edging, peaking or surfing is used as an orgasm control sexual technique. Picture: Pexels

Published Nov 22, 2019

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Jeremy and Autumn have a busy life. Both have full-time jobs and share responsibility for their daughter, five. When it comes to their sex life, they prefer quality over quantity.

While chatting to  fatherly.com, the couple discussed the importance of building up to sex over a number of days and how to perfect the art of orgasm control. 

For most, edging, peaking or surfing is used as an orgasm control sexual technique, and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching climax.

Okay, sounds complicated. How exactly do you practice this with a partner would be your next question.

When asked by  Bustle readers about the topic, sex therapist Vanessa Marin explained it to the finest detail.

"Typically, it’s done by getting to the brink of orgasm, then stopping, slowing down, or lessening stimulation until your arousal levels drop. Then you get back to the edge of orgasm, and repeat as many times as you want/ can stand," she noted.

"The basic process of orgasm control can help your sexual interactions last longer. You can also use orgasm control to incorporate power play dynamics into your sex, by having one person be in control of the other partner’s orgasm," added Marin.

And this is where edging comes in. Edging, also called "orgasm denial," is the technique in which you bring yourself close to an orgasm, then stop. In edging over and over - bringing yourself close, then letting go - you’re guaranteeing a bigger orgasm and even a longer orgasm, writes Bustle's Amanda Chatel.

Obviously, practice makes perfect, added Marin. And communication. Always communicate with your partner, she concluded.

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