Some of my worst childhood memories involved school report card days. Four times a year every year for around 10 years my teachers would spill their guts to my mother about my lack of discipline.
They'd say things like: "Oh that Jesse... If only he'd focus more" and "What a bright young kid. He just needs to pay more attention".
Well, that's the same report card I'm giving Ford for its locally built Bantam half-tonner that, as of a few months ago, comes with a 1.4-litre turbodiesel engine.
At the launch in Mpumalanga in March, Ford's spokespeople waxed lyrical about the effort they'd put into this year's Bantam. A quieter cab through better body sealing, new technology called "accelerometer pilot control" to monitor combustion noise and adjust the TDCi's injectors every 0.3 milliseconds.
The stuff that would've made Mr Borgen, my sixth-grade science teacher, weep tears of joy had I entered it as a school project in my youth. An absolute A+. Honour-roll material.
And it works well. The engine's quieter than a church mouse, even when you're wringing its neck in top gear on the highway or up a hill in first, hauling a load. The cabin's calm and cozy - so much so that the lack of focus and attention to other areas of the little bakkie become excruciatingly obvious.
Firstly there was something loose inside our Bantam's dashboard. I know it's the sort of fault that could be one-off and specific to our test unit but I'm leaving it down to someone's bad day at Ford's Silverton plant near Pretoria.
I can just imagine the factory worker responsible for bolting in the control unit or whatever it was, slacking off on a Friday afternoon, with visions of six packs and Blue Bulls filling his head. It's the kind of thing that's very easy to slip through quality control, and if I were the white labcoat-wearing engineer in charge of the "Accelerometer Pilot Control" project I'd be mighty ticked off that all my hard work was in vain.
Every once in a while the loose component would wedge itself in somewhere and quieten down, but that just made the horrifyingly squealy brakes so much more evident. Every time, and I mean every time, I came to a complete stop with the Bantam the front pads would shriek in protest while I'd try to hide inside the tight confines of the cabin from irritated motorists within my vicinity.
It was real fingernails-down-the-blackboard stuff.
The good news is that both issues are easily rectified with another (probably better quality) set of brake pads, and perhaps just one trip back to Ford's workshop to tighten up the loose nuts and bolts somewhere behind the radio.
But now I sound like Mr Borgen: "If only you'd pay more attention to detail, Ford, your bakkie could be such an excellent little half-ton prodigy."
I feel a little bad for making mention of these somewhat petty issues, but one must be cruel to be kind. If it weren't for those two audible hiccups I'd also be waxing lyrical about how fantastic this bakkie is.
TOP-END MODELS DECKED TO IMPRESS
Our unit was, of course, a seriously decked-out XLE model, meaning that it's specced the same as an already full-house XLT with alloy rims, extra speakers, power windows and mirrors, remote-controlled central locking and body-coloured bumpers, but with extra leather bits, two crash bags and body-colour door releases.
I could happily live with the diesel Bantam every day, and that says a lot coming from a guy with a sweet tooth for higher-end cars. I can think of many other small bakkies that, unless I was a farm supply store delivery driver, I would never consider for transportation. The Bantam's been refined over its long South African existence and, excuse the cliche, it's very car-like.
The suspension's nice and if it weren't for those darned squeaks and rattles the cabin ambience would be quite civilised. Just make sure your driving partner's someone with whom you're willing to rub elbows because it's a tight squeeze. There's only enough space between the seats for a handbrake lever and a hip will be against the door panel.
Ford's made clever use of the little leftover space, though, and there are just enough pockets scattered around for travel junk.
I especially liked the rectangular elastic webbing on the ceiling that, if you're handy with your cellphone's buttons, might work as a makeshift hands-free kit.
VERDICT
Practice makes perfect, they say, and with 26 years of it Ford's Bantam is pretty close to the top of the half-ton pile. Local sales tell the story, though, and the Bantam is stuck playing second fiddle to Opel's stunningly attractive (for this segment) Corsa Utility.
That's why a diesel engine's been stuffed under the Ford's bonnet. The Opel's been stealing a big chunk of pie for years as the only diesel in the category and, with a diesel Nissan NP200 on the cards, the next few semesters' Naamsa figures could see a reshuffle.
This is a fantastic bakkie, nonetheless, and despite a few niggly flaws I'm marking its report card with "E" - for effort. - Drive Times
SPECIFICATIONS - Ford Bantam 1.4 TDCi XLT
Engine:
Cylinders: 4 in line
Capacity: 1 399cc
Valvegear: 8 valves
Fuel system: Common rail turbodiesel
Max power: 50kW at 4 000rpm
Max torque: 160Nm at 2 000rpm
Carbon emissions: 134.3g/km
Transmission:
Type: 5-speed manual; front-wheel drive
Suspension:
Front: Macpherson strut with anti-roll bar
Rear: Leaf springs with dead axle
Steering:
Type: Rack-and-pinion
Power Assistance: Yes
Steering column adjustment: No
Brakes:
Front: Ventilated discs
Rear: Drums
ABS:Yes
Wheels/Tyres:
Wheels: 14-inch alloy
Tyres: 175/65R14
Dimensions:
Length: 4 269mm
Width: 1 634mm
Height: 1 460mm
Mass: 1 036kg
Fuel Tank: 48 litres
Payload/boot: 630kg
Standard features: Electric windows; remote central ocking; air conditioning; Radio/CD with 4 speakers; sliding rear window; fog lights; tonneau cover
Safety: Two crash bags
Warranty: 4 year/120 000km
Fuel Consumption (as claimed at sea level): 5.1 litres per 100km
Service Intervals: 15 000km
Price: R171 750
Rivals: Opel Corsa Utility 1.7 DTi Sport (55kW/165Nm) R185 460
Test car from Ford S.