By Jeremy Lawrence
Fancy getting a bowl of red M&Ms delivered to your hotel room at 2am? How about 10 tickets for you and your friends to a sold-out Madonna concert? Or perhaps you're just having trouble finding a long enough shower curtain?
Whatever the request, wherever and whenever you may need it, there are people out there willing to do it - at a price.
For the past six years, the London-based company Quintessentially has been providing a unique and extremely exclusive service for those able to afford it.
It is one of the world's leading private members-only clubs and, even in South Africa, its service appears to be in high demand. One client recently requested the company to find a Spanish-speaking nanny - for her dogs. She also wanted dog passports, which of course were found and produced.
The international list of clients reads like a celebrity who's who, with members including Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger, Sarah Ferguson, Lindsay Lohan, Jemima Khan, Hugh Grant and Madonna.
Quintessentially was started in London in 2000 by film producer Aaron Simpson and consultant Ben Elliot, with the intention of offering a unique 24-hour concierge service for "people with very little time".
However, that service proved to be so popular, and efficient, that the company and its client base now stretch around the world, with offices in New York, Miami, Dubai, Hong Kong, Istanbul, Beirut and Copenhagen, to name a few.
"Through my work I had been looking after film stars, and Ben had been involved in nightclubs. A mutual friend suggested we get together, so we did. Over a pint of lager we decided to do it. We thought that it would be a small village affair," muses Simpson, who now spends most of his time travelling around the world.
What started out as a company consisting of five people has turned into a global enterprise with a footprint in 22 countries, and more than 500 employees.
The company has expanded in ways that Simpson never imagined.
Over the past five years Quintessentially has launched its own credit card, magazine, events company and public relations agency. In addition, the company also uses its high-profile client list to raise money for charity. Simpson estimates that about R100-million is raised each year.
More recently, the opening of offices in Cape Town, Johannesburg, Oslo and Helsinki has broadened its global reach, and a Moscow office will be added shortly.
In the next few years the company hopes to be represented in 36 countries, with a limit of 5 000 members in each country, according to Simpson, who says demand in South Africa has been enormous.
Says Simpson: "South Africans are great travellers and they've really embraced the service we offer. They want to be on the inside track, and they want access to the most exclusive events, the hottest trends and the coolest happenings, and the capacity to enjoy the best that life has to offer."
For example, in Cape Town one famous client wanted to run up Table Mountain followed by five cheerleaders from a rugby team. His wish was granted.
Johannesburg socialite Edith Venter had Quintessentially locate a bottle of one of the world's rarest Scotch whiskies, a 21-year-old single malt called Benromach. Footballer Quinton Fortune wanted a pink iPod for his wife, as well as tickets for a concert, and one Johannesburg woman was desperate to get her hands on some Newcastle Brown Ale for her steak and kidney pie.
Dealing with outlandish requests, ranging from the absurd to the ridiculous, is part of the business.
Simpson is also aware that the efficiency of the service dictates that limits are often tested. Some of the strangest inquiries have included finding Elvis, arranging a trip into space (which Simpson is quick to point out is now possible), solving a member's moth problem without mothballs, and tracking down a bottle of the world's purest mineral water.
The services offered range from travel assistance and home management to health, beauty, shopping and even an arts club.
But becoming a member isn't cheap - and membership doesn't include the cost of fulfilling requests.
Membership is divided into three sections, with each section offering membership for a single person or couple.
The entry-level membership for a single person is called General and starts at about R7 800 a year, which gets you 24-hour telephone access for requests ranging from restaurant bookings to travel arrangements.
One level up is the Dedicated Quintessentially member, whose fee starts at R25 000 and who is assigned a dedicated personal account manager who offers "complete lifestyle management".
The Elite level starts at R250 000 and gets the member a team of personal elite account managers in all of the company's territories.
This service is also available 24 hours a day to answer to your each and every whim, but you have to be invited to receive this upgrade.
A list of Quintessentially's more unusual jobs:
- Delivered Harrods tea to a well-known producer in Hollywood by 9.30am the next morning.
- A non-member had a bet with a member that Quintessentially couldn't get a set of bongo drums to his boat in Monaco harbour in an hour. They had it on his boat before the hour was up.
- Bought a section of turf from Lords cricket ground, transported it to the member's country home and planted it in their front garden.
- One member recently wanted an outfit for a Bollywood-themed party - but it had to be an exact replica of the costume worn by the singer Cher on a recent tour. The member also wanted a cake in the shape of an elephant big enough to feed a thousand guests. The party was being held in Cyprus so a private jet had to be organised to fly in both the dress and cake.
- Helped a member to move up the waiting list for a new BMW M3 convertible by one year.
- Arranged for a kilt to be at JFK airport in time for a wedding (with three hours' notice).
- Arranged for a member to have two tickets in the Royal Circle for Pavarotti's last performance of Tosca in Covent Garden, 24 hours before the show.
- A member called from a plane requesting that a new tie, shirt and boxer shorts be in his hotel room when he landed in Istanbul. The items were there in half an hour.
- Arranged for a member to join the Sydney-to-Hobart boat race.
- Arranged for tickets to British Prime Minister Tony Blair's Question Time.
- Obtained 10 tickets for a sold-out Madonna concert at Earl's Court.
- Organised a car rally from Sudeley Castle to Monte Carlo to benefit an Aids charity.
- Secured a private dining room for 30 members during the opening week of the new Gordon Ramsay restaurant.
- Tracked down a bottle of the world's purest mineral water.
- Found a restaurant in Helsinki that serves reindeer.
- Located a children's entertainer called Patchy Pete with only the name of the entertainer to go by.
- Arranged for a star in the Milky Way to be named after a member.
- Found a herbal tea for Madonna only available in the US.
- Restuffed a member's favourite teddy-bear.
- Solved a member's moth problem without using moth balls.
- A member wanted the most expensive Swedish beer that is served in London. Quintessentially found the bar that stocked it.
- Organised a speedboat to transport a member and five of his friends from Cannes to Monaco.
- There is only one stockist of passion-fruit pulp in London. A member wanted to use it in his cocktails, so Quintessentially found it for him.
- Elton John's personal guests at a Cape Town ball flew in on the morning of the event. The airline had lost their luggage and they required a fully fitted tuxedo and a complete designer outfit for the couple. They were kitted out within four hours and chauffeur-driven to the event looking fabulous.
- In Mauritius, 19 rooms in a hotel were booked that only had five available, displacing 14 reservations to another part of the island.
- A member had a dinner party that ran late and an early meeting the next morning. Quintessentially arranged for a housecleaner, who cleaned up after the party and let herself out before the member awoke for her next meeting.
- A member's car ran out of petrol just as he reached the restaurant they had booked him into. They arranged for the AA to fill his car up and park it close by.
- In China a member requested the hire of a single-engine plane to fly over the Great Wall of China.
- A member requested a pair of blue Indian peacocks, one male one female, to be sent to Scotland to arrive on Christmas morning.