Pretoria - Johan Kotze tearfully told the Pretoria High Court on Tuesday he never intended hurting his ex-wife Ina Bonnette.
"I did not want to hurt her," he said.
Kotze, Andries Sithole, Pieta Mohlane, and Frans Mphaka are accused of murdering Kotze's 19-year-old stepson Conrad Bonnette at Kotze's house in Modimolle on January 3 last year.
They are also accused of kidnapping, assaulting, repeatedly raping, and attempting to murder Ina Bonnette that day.
Kotze told the court he found his three co-accused attacking Bonnette in a room in his house.
"I tried to get her out of this thing and I tried to protect her."
He said he tried to fight them off, but occasionally left the room.
"Andries (Sithole) stood in front of me and I just saw Ina's legs... I touched Andries on the shoulder and told him please, please don't hurt Ina."
Bonnette, who attended proceedings, shook her head and at times laughed at the testimony.
Kotze said Sithole asked him about money. He had hired his three co-accused to do work at his house.
"I just told him go, please, please just get out of the house."
He said the three men later left.
Kotze, sobbing, told the court he then returned to the room where Bonnette was tied up.
"I was terribly angry, I can remember that."
He said he wanted to talk to Bonnette about New Year's Eve, when he said he saw her cheating on him.
He said Bonnette said she would never cheat on him and he told her "I saw you".
Kotze walked around the house, shouting at Bonnette. He found a needle on a table.
"I definitely confronted her... I didn't want to hurt her... I would step away... then I would see blood... then I would realise things were going wrong."
He said he threatened Bonnette with the needle because he saw her with another man.
"I did not realise that I pushed the needle into her breasts."
He said he found a pair of pliers.
"And I just saw blood and then I got frightened."
Kotze described how he would lie down next to Bonnette and talk to her. He said he would be calm one minute and enraged the next.
Bonnette asked him to call her son, Conrad. When he arrived with a friend, Kotze told the other boy to fetch something outside the house.
When Conrad asked where his mother was, Kotze directed him to the room she was in. As the boy was walking towards the room Kotze picked up a gun.
"I can't remember... the only thing I will always remember was that he said 'no uncle, don't," he said.
"A shot went off. I heard it."
Kotze said he saw Conrad hunched against the wall. He also sat down.
"I sat there for a while. I was extremely shocked."
He described how he sat in his car and later drove away, first visiting the house he and Bonnette had lived in and later attempted suicide.
He tried to kill himself in his car by opening a gas canister.
"I threw the blanket over me and opened the gas bottle."
Kotze said he later stumbled out of his car.
"All I know is that there was a terrible ringing in my ears."
He cried as he told the court he heard of Conrad's death over the radio. Kotze said he had thought about suicide often.
"I have considered it numerous times since the first time Ina
and I broke up."
Kotze was asked to read notes he wrote while he was on the run into evidence. He said he recognised his handwriting, but at first did not remember writing them. The notes, written daily, were addressed to Bonnette.
They consisted of apologies, accusations, and comments on his mental state before his arrest on January 11, 2012.
"I will hand myself over to the police. I am just busy preparing for it. It is the right thing to do. I am very sorry," Kotze read out.
"Why do you play with you(r) love for me... I realise things went horribl(y) wrong... I can't be without you."
Kotze cried as he read them. He called Bonnette "bokka" and asked her why she allowed Conrad to come between them.
"He was a soft terrorist." He also denied radio reports of her rape. He claimed there was too much tension.
"Only two (of the accused) tried. The third one didn't."
He also wished her a full recovery after hearing on the radio about her hospitalisation.
A plea of not guilty was noted on Kotze's behalf after he refused to enter a plea, claiming his accountability and ability to follow and contribute to court proceedings were in question.
His three co-accused all pleaded not guilty to the charges. They claimed Kotze forced them to take part in the attack on Bonnette and said they had only pretended to rape her.
Bonnette has testified Kotze tortured her with various objects before instructing the other three to rape her. She told the court she listened to her son pleading for his life before he was shot in the head and heart.
The trial was postponed to 9am on Wednesday to allow the defence teams and the State time to consult. - Sapa