When Arnold Mol's son, Michael, turned 20, the youngster had an epiphany: "Dad, I'm frustrated. I have nothing to rebel against," he said.
This was one of Arnold's proudest moments as a dad.
And this, he says, was because Michael (a former Mr South Africa and now glamorous TV presenter) had been spanked as a child - not in anger, but out of love.
In a recent letter to Weekend Argus's sister newspaper, The Pretoria News, Mol senior wrote that spanking, if done in the right manner, teaches a child to respect those in authority, and is more likely to produce well-adjusted adults.
"Research methodology does not distinguish between the right kind of spanking and the wrong kind. When a parent hits a child because he is angry, it is retribution not discipline. The parent wants to make the child 'pay' for his misdemeanour. That won't lead to improved behaviour, but tells the child violence is how to deal with anger and frustration."
He explains that whenever a parent lashes out at a child "out of the blue" because the child made a mistake, or broke something, or kept the parent waiting, or whatever, it creates insecurity in the mind of the child.
"Such punishment (I will not call it discipline) will in the long term have a very negative effect on the child."
In an interview this week, it was evident Michael had noted Arnold's disciplining methods. Michael - now a well-known television presenter, medical doctor, chief executive of a company and, more importantly, a father of three - still remembers "Harry", the bamboo cane his father used to discipline him.
"My dad never seemed angry while he spanked me. He explained beforehand why he was giving me a hiding. And afterward he would give me a hug, tell me that he loved me, and everything would be fine again."
Michael adds that with his own kids, when they are deliberately disobedient, he asks them why they deserve a hiding.
"They can explain their wrongdoing and learn from it," he said.
Arnold, the author of Parenting that Works, says the only time children should be spanked is when they deliberately defy authority, when they are dishonest, or when they display blatant misbehaviour, such as throwing a brick through a window.
"I always used the cane. Hands are for loving, not hitting. I never spanked any of the kids in front of their siblings. I never spanked them more than once - you do not have to hit a child until he cries.
"One blow, so it stings, is sufficient. It does no physical harm, and it is not 'barbaric' as some would suggest. Pain is nature's alarm system. It is a warning that there is danger. If we did not experience pain, we'd be dead.
"Spanking leaves no scars - it'll leave a little red mark that fades. But," says Arnold, "children should never be spanked for mistakes such as breaking something, or poor performance.
"They may have to suffer other consequences, for example, paying pocket money for petrol if the parent has to fetch things the child left at school; not being allowed to play computer games during the week, if the child does not do as well as she/he could at school; going to school without lunch if they forget to hand in lunch boxes for dish washing and so on. But a child should never be spanked for such 'offences'.
"Mistakes and accidents happen. I told my children that mistakes happen in the best of families and you come from one of the best" he said.
- For a copy of Parenting that Works: email Arnold Mol on [email protected].