Johannesburg - A Soshanguve self-published author, Tshidi Monkoe, has written her first book, Prison Love, based on her true story of being in love with a man in prison.
Monkoe, a mother of two and a ghost writer, details the challenges she has had to face through her four-year journey with her book.
The book details how she and the man in prison met and fell in love. It looks at the challenges they faced in the relationship and when he came out of prison, and the backlash Monkoe faced from society and her family for being with someone incarcerated.
The story is how she was once emotionally and physically abused by her ex-husband. She later found love in the hands of the former prisoner.
It was love at first sight for her. He treated her with love, care, romance and tenderness.
He went down on his knees and asked for her hand in marriage while he was still in prison. It was only after four years of nothing but happiness that he was released from prison, and they were both looking forward to living a fulfilling life together. It was time for him to fulfil the promises he made to her.
However, things fell apart. Monkoe started writing the book in late 2019. She said the writing of this book acted as a healing process, sometimes a painful one.
“I always knew I wanted to write about my love story with my prison love even though at the time I did not know how it will end. It took me a year. I wrote it amid the storm and I would take a break as at times, I wasn’t sure if the book was healing me or adding salt to the wounds. By the Grace of God, I healed and the wounds turned into scars,” said Monkoe.
Without revealing much of the book, Monkoe said it comes with many life lessons for both men and women
“I wrote the book for all those women who travelled the same path as me. It was in the moment when mine changed on me that I thought of those women. and I didn’t have anyone to turn to as there’s very little support out there for women whose partners are incarcerated.
“So I wrote the book with those women in mind, that I need to give them something they can turn to for healing. It’s also for women like me, who have been in abusive relationships, those that are in toxic relationships and feel trapped and don't know how to come out of it. It is also for those men who are behind bars, for them to take lessons from the book, as well as for men in general," said Monkoe.
She said she realised that the non-governmental organisations (NGOs) that exist only support family members of those incarcerated, such as siblings, parents and children, but not women who don’t have a child with the offenders. She said little support for women with partners in prison prompted her to register her own NGO for them.
“The main focus of the NGO is to support women with partners who are incarcerated, to support women who are incarcerated as well as children of the incarcerated parents,” she said.
The book looks at gender-based violence (GBV) in all forms and Monkoe hopes it educates people to make informed decisions.
“With GBV as a problem in South Africa, with this book I want to say to women: it’s okay to leave a relationship once it has reached its expiry date. You need to move on, and moving on does not mean you’re a failure, it means you are a victor as you recognised that this is not meant to be and you can leave while you're still whole.”
She hopes to turn the book into a television series or reality show to touch people on a broader scale.
Monkoe asked that readers do not misinterpret her as she is “in no way bashing the relationship”.
The book is available directly from her through her social media pages.
The Star