If you're searching for a relaxing family holiday, look away now. Because this week I bring news of the latest in family cruises: a SpongeBob SquarePants Caribbean extravaganza, courtesy of Nickelodeon ( www.nick.com/minisites/familycruise).
Yes, the children's TV channel has teamed up with Royal Caribbean International for a seven-day adventure this summer, departing from Miami and taking in Mexico and Jamaica. Onboard attractions include Mr SquarePants himself and plenty of games involving green slime.
Not everyone's cuppa - but don't rule out the idea of a life on the ocean wave just yet. For something a little more sophisticated, you can charter your own family-friendly yacht on the Med. Book with Bareboat Sailing Holidays ( www.bareboatsailingholidays.com) and you get a six-berth vessel and a skipper. No previous experience required: you get to learn the ropes as you take in the alluring Saronic islands of Greece.
And if that still doesn't float your boat, here's something that will. European Waterways ( www.gobarging.com) has just introduced family barge charters in the Scottish Highlands and Burgundy. Visit the Great Glen or the ancient villages of the Nivernais with your tour guide-cum-children's entertainer, and you'll soon find your sea legs.
Who says you need square pants to have a good time?