London - My cat. My tortoise. My friends. My bed. The list reads the same every time, but I still write it. I write it on the last day of every holiday, to convince myself that going home isn't so bad. Then I have my cry. There are plenty of things I'm not great at - driving, maths, returning library books on time - but the thing I'm worst at is coming back to work after a holiday.
It's the ultimate case of diamond shoes - sandals - being too tight. To have had a lovely sunshine break and then return to the office - where everyone has been beavering away without pub lunches or morning swims - with a face of thunder is a terribly bad show. But at least I'm not the only moping wage slave to feel like this. Given the number of names for it - “holiday hangover”, “back-to-work blues”, “post-travel depression” - it's a well-known affliction.
In a recent survey conducted by Sunshine.co.uk (yup, you guessed it, a travel website), 82 percent of the 1 254 people asked experienced post-holiday blues. And 68 percent answered the question, “Are you usually glad to be home after a holiday abroad?” with a - presumably dismal-sounding - “No”. Probably just before they logged on to a recruitment website or started fantasising about retraining as a dry-stone-wall builder.
Even if you manage to avoid end-of-holiday dread, and you feel refreshed, relaxed and ready to face the world of work, you're guaranteed to walk into stress, strife and at least one stitch-up. Perhaps it's a high-importance handover you left with a colleague that's been ignored and subsequently caused your inbox to turn toxic. Or it's the hard-won electric fan that's missing from your desk. Or a surprise departmental reorg. Or, in my case, the fact that the Duchess of Cambridge didn't have the decency to drop her sprog while I was away. I thought I'd missed dilation-watch, but alas, no.
Still, it could be worse: 78 percent of people asked said that their holiday blues lasted for a month. Longer by at least a fortnight, I'd hazard, than the holiday they'd taken. Perhaps they should have saved their cash and not bothered.
After years of practice, I've come up with a few things that help. A bit. The first is the aforementioned list. The second is making sure I have a clear day, a kind-of holiday airlock, between getting home and going to work - unlike some people I know who can roll off a transatlantic flight and roll in to the office. The third is concentrating on getting through the first day back at work without running away, making a grand plan for a new life or hiding ladies' loos tearfully looking at my holiday snaps, chanting: “I can't believe this is my life.”
I pity my poor colleagues having to look at my long face today, but at least I'm getting my ill-grace in early. By September, when the schools go back and the summer holiday season proper is over, I'll be back on an even keel. Then I can support them in their hour (month?) of need. I might even lend them my tortoise. - The Independent