Cape Town - I’ve done a few stupid things in my life, not least hopping on a bike without training to complete the Cape Town Cycle Tour a few years ago. My body hated me during - and after - the ride.
The promise to raise funds for charity got me through the pain.
This week, as today’s historic edition of the iconic event loomed, I feared I had done it again.
I decided last month I wasn’t ready to tackle the 109km event. I did very little training and my head just wasn’t in the right space. But over the last few days, I wondered about that decision and I had FOMO (fear of missing out).
My love affair with the world’s largest timed cycling race started rather unceremoniously. I was appointed Cape Argus editor in 2009 and my anxiety wasn’t about the big shoes of predecessors or meeting deadlines.
No, my main concern was whether I’d have to don one of those ridiculous Lycra outfits and ride the Cycle Tour because the paper was a co-sponsor. I was relieved when the answer was no.
I officiated at the start of the 2010 Cape Town Cycle Tour. It was electric. I wanted in on this, so the following year I donned one of those outfits and earned my first medal.
There’s nothing like touring this beautiful city of ours on a bicycle and it's an incredible feeling when you cross the finish line.
But somewhere along the line it got complicated. The bicycle got upgraded. This kit, that helmet, those shoes they just weren’t the latest. It can’t be done without a certain GPS bicycle computer.
Yet, when I started out, riding a seriously second-hand bike with dumpy gear shifters I paid R600 for online, wearing sneakers and an unfashionable helmet, I couldn’t have been happier.
After acquiring all these things at great expense, I’d fallen out of love - temporarily - with cycling. Why? Life gets in the way of T.I.T.S. (Time In The Saddle).
Last year, for the cancelled Cycle Tour, I was better prepared than I’d ever been. In my brother, I had the perfect riding partner. He had a setback and moved in with us for a few months. We got him a bike and we motivated each other.
I’d wake for our training rides and he’d have peanut-butter sarmies and coffee waiting for me. My kit would be laid out and my bike was ready to go.
Our two-wheel adventures were at times comical. We spent hours with my friend Robin Adams in an epic ride from Milnerton to Llandudno and back. It saw us repairing Robin’s chain thrice, helping a fellow rider with a flat and walking back to the car after a puncture of my own.
On another memorable occasion, the Abarder brothers joined elite rider Sameeg Salie for a master class up Chapman’s Peak.
Over a few months we clocked up many hours, reminiscing about our childhood, touring suburbs we didn’t know, helping strangers with punctures and other running repairs. I was in love with cycling.
My preparation for this year’s Cycle Tour was different, though. Something was missing, or someone - my brother. I joined sports journalist Zaid Omar for a few rides. A fit Zaid was generous enough to ride at my pace. I knew I was holding him back. But adulting soon put paid to T.I.T.S.
When I did get time to train I had to go it alone. Picture the scene: It’s 6am. I’m alone. It’s still dark. I’m on a bicycle that weighs about 10kg and going at approximately 25km/h. I’m on the verge of a roadway and at the mercy of trucks, minibus taxis and motorists returning from a night out on the town, hoping and praying they’ll stay in their lane.
This morning, up to 35 000 will be participating in a new beginning for the Cape Town Cycle Tour as the ride starts from the Grand Parade. I’ll be watching from the sidelines, ruing my decision.
But I’ll be back next year, come what may. I’ve learnt my lesson. It’s not about personal bests, the bike and accessories, or how much time I’ve spent in the saddle. It’s about the friends made along the ride, the experiences, the memories.
I need to fall in love with cycling again. That’s what I think the Cape Town Cycle Tour is really about.
* Follow Abarder’s musings on Twitter - @GasantAbarder