‘Am I an a**hole for telling my cousin I don't care that she has 3 years to live?’

I should also mention that I'm not that young (16), but my parents have strange ideas about using public transportation because I'm small and a girl, and my mom frequently experienced harassment on buses when she was a child. Picture: Edgard Garrido / Reuters

I should also mention that I'm not that young (16), but my parents have strange ideas about using public transportation because I'm small and a girl, and my mom frequently experienced harassment on buses when she was a child. Picture: Edgard Garrido / Reuters

Published Sep 1, 2022

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What would you do if you were told by your doctors that you have three years to live? Your first question might be, “is it cancer?”

A Reddit user posed a question on the online platform where users share about any non-violent conflict they've experienced and provide both sides of the story. And the consensus of the community also reveals whether you're right or wrong.

“(AITA-am I the A$* hole) for telling my cousin I don’t care if she has 3 years left to live?”

“I know the title sounds awful but hear me out…

“My second cousin, whom we’ll give a pseudonym ‘Jane’. Since learning the news, she has engaged in behaviours like cutting lines and requesting discounts that are typically only available to service personnel by using the phrase ‘I’ve only got three more years, we gotta make ‘em good.’

“She and my parents get along great. She has always been a little mean to me, so we aren't particularly close, but since we both live in the same city and my parents frequently work long hours, she frequently drove me to extracurricular activities by taking the bus downtown because she was the only one available.

“I don't believe I've been ungrateful for what she's done for me because I bought her a nice Christmas present this year with money I saved from my allowance. I should also mention that I'm not that young (16), but my parents have strange ideas about using public transportation because I'm small and a girl, and my mom frequently experienced harassment on buses when she was a child.

“My parents recently asked Jane to accompany me on a flight to visit my family in another state for two weeks. I'd never flown alone before, so the deal was that Jane would accompany me there and show me how things worked, then return home without me, and I would fly home alone once I knew how. My parents paid for everything, as well as some nice skin care products for Jane as a thank you, shared Not-the-A-hole.

“This is where things get interesting on the flight, she stretched out her knees and legs onto the seat in front of us. When the person understandably turned around to complain, she used the stupid excuse about the three years to live thing again. The person said they were sorry about that but to please put her legs in her own space. She kicked her legs around a bit and then put them so her knees were resting on the back of the seat in front of us.

“I told her she was behaving like a child. Jane responded that she deserves to be comfortable in her final years. I then told her that me and others around her don’t care about her living life to the fullest at the expense of others.

“I feel terrible because she was extremely quiet for the rest of the flight. I'm sure I could have said it better, but I was tired of her being a jerk to random people.

“So, am I the A$# hole and how much?” asks u/OrneryEntrepreneur90. The verdict for this one is Not-the-A-hole.

Here is what two users had to say. Musical85: “I am terminal, with about a year, but I don’t act entitled to anything. When I am feeling down/my emotions run high, I spend time by myself, so as to not offend anyone else. I am thankful for every single moment and am living life to the fullest, but not at the expense of others.”

Another user, Nightmare_Gerbil says: “It kind of sounds like the cousin is trying to speed up the process.”

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