Johannesburg - Showing vulnerability is verboten in elite-level sport.
South Africa’s captain, Dean Elgar, proved as much with his decision to bat first in the second Test against New Zealand. Having scored a total of 206 runs in a combined 91 overs in the first Test, the prudent choice may have been to bowl upon winning the toss. Not for Elgar. “It's important for us to front up,” he said. To show toughness, and hide the weaknesses.
Yet in the aftermath of Friday’s play – a very good day for the Proteas, in which they did front up and play with their chests out – the hero, Sarel Erwee, spoke eloquently about how embracing his weaknesses and being vulnerable had reignited his passion for cricket.
“I was a phone call away from saying I was done,” said Erwee, who scored his maiden Test century on Friday.
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His mind had been worn down by the doubts and the anguish of a sporting career that he believed at the time would see a dream of playing for his country go unfulfilled. Alongside those were ones about not being good enough and, of course, what would the future bring for someone who had dedicated himself to the sport, by playing when no one was watching and preparing for matches in the lowest first class tier in South Africa.
“My parents thankfully provided encouragement, and I started seeing a sports performance psychologist. We started working on my mental well being; that was the turning point for me, 28 months ago. I’m not the finished product, and I still have a lot of work to do with regards to my mental health.
“I don’t think we spend enough time on mental health. People have different backgrounds and experiences, and then when you’re thrown in at the deep end, you may not know how to handle it. It’s very important and I think it’s an area in South Africa, not just in cricket, where we can improve. Everyday is a small step for me to try and get better.”
A special moment. Sarel Erwee delivering his maiden Test 100 and the @ANZ_NZ Play of the Day at Hagley Oval. #NZvSA pic.twitter.com/xJOlZNEnF0
— BLACKCAPS (@BLACKCAPS) February 25, 2022
Erwee, 32, who made his first class debut in 2008, also believes that mental health is extremely neglected, in particular for one sector of society. “I think, as a man, it’s frowned upon if you show mental weakness or softness,” he said.
Just this week, South Africa mourned the passing of music artist Riky Rick, who had over many years hidden his battle with depression. In the industry he was in and the facade he had to create, Rick couldn’t share those vulnerabilities, like a lot of men can’t in a society where being macho is expected and celebrated.
It is a reflection on this new generation of Proteas as well, that a new player such as Erwee feels comfortable expressing that vulnerability. A lot has been heard about the new culture of inclusiveness and the willingness of players to be vulnerable in front of each other, in order to create a stronger ethos. Amid the controversy surrounding the Proteas over the past few years, Erwee’s openness is a sign of that new culture.
“There is a lot of work still to be done. I am in that process, every day, every week and every month, where I’m trying to better my mental well-being. It’s a big part of my life and will be for a long time,” he explained.