The taps ran dry at Loftus Versfeld on Saturday night – and that is no judgement served on the copious amounts of beer that was consumed before, during and after the match – but rather a fact concerning the lack of a water supply.
No H20 for ablutions pumped through the venue during the match, crammed with 50 000-plus spectators which had snacked on greasy stadium chow and had been sipping on one, or two, or several cold ones throughout the day.
As a result, there was no way the players from either side could take a hot shower after the match. You could imagine then that the Wallaby locker room had that distinct air about it, wafting with the stench of dejected defeat.
Even that, however, couldn't compare to the Wallabies performance on the night. It was an undoubtedly abject display from the visitors in the 93rd meeting of the two nations.
Both team and coach had talked a big game before the clash - one where they wanted to dispel ghosts, and in which they had hummed Belief, Belief, Belief into being since raising camp in April.
They had the better start for sure, but the spectre of recent seasons quickly reared its head after the first quarter of gametime, while their team mantra disappeared quickly after. Their monster pack - specifically selected to combat the Springbok first eight - were quickly and brutally subdued; while their backline – once the Boks were in control – lacked impetus and creativity.
It was understandable then, when in the post-match media briefing, that the auditorium – which sits under the superstructure of Loftus – was filled with a tense atmosphere thick with wrath as coach Eddie Jones addressed the media.
Jones chewed on his words angrily, his jaw seemingly masticating on reserved rage as he explained the failure of his team. Gone was the friendly mid-week banter, the tongue-in-cheek jibes about Pretoria’s love of Brandy and Coke, and the bravado of jokingly mangling the Italian language with a cheeky, “Buongiorno … I’ve been practicing my Italian, mate… Bella ciao, Bella ciao, Bella ciao ciao ciao (goodbye beautiful). And that’s how we’re going to play on Saturday.”
It was replaced by realisation – an expression of desolation – of how deep the quagmire of Australian rugby truly is right now. Jones is undoubtedly a master tactician and arguably one of the great coaches of his generation, but the current crop of players at his disposal are a far cry from the Aussies that gave much pause for thought in the 1990s and 2000s and who instilled a degree of fear then.
His diffused rage seeped into the pores of the foldable chairs and will haunt that room for many years to come. It reached its boiling point with the final question as Jones confronted his zoomed in target and gesticulated bitterly, “Show more respect, mate. Don’t be a smart-arse.”
The dichotomy between that interaction, and the one earlier with the Boks assistant coach Mzwandile Stick and captain Duane Vermeulen might as well have been separated by the 10 000km between the two nations. It was a rather more relaxed and cheerful discussion.
It is not all doom, though the gloom will hang heavily and visibly over the Wallabies as they make their way back to Sydney this week to face Argentina. It was, after all, only Jones’ first match back in charge in a five year stint and once he and his charges understand each other, they should improve.
Moreover, the World Cup draw favours a deep run. The Australians are in Group C with Wales, Fiji, Georgia and Portugal; and if they make the quarter-finals, will face – presumably – England, Argentina or perhaps even Japan, depending on where they finish.
By the time they get to the semi-final, France, Ireland, South Africa and New Zealand will have been bruised and battered by their unhinged group schedule, which will present an opportunity.
The Boks, meanwhile, have much to be pleased about as they build towards New Zealand this weekend. They have an embarrassment of riches in depth, a facet of their game that one suspects other coaches - Jones included - now look on with envy and with the same fear that peak Australia once possessed.
@FreemanZAR