Parenting is a trial-and-error process; there is no manual for it.
One thing is certain: no parent wants to see their child or children suffer; they just want the best for them.
It’s refreshing to see parenting now is socially conscious and fostering self-awareness in children.
A woman posted a video of her little daughter using lip balm (chapstick) and sketching drawings on the mirror on Twitter.
The young toddler can be seen drawing joyfully in the mirror in the video.
The mother can be heard in the video saying: “I’m just sitting here thinking about the ass whopping I would’ve gotten if I did this.
“Phoenix, however, did not get a punishment. Instead she got a parent who took a big old deep breath, got curious, and first asked about her artwork.
This video shows the mother and daughter’s beautiful interaction, in which she asks the daughter about her artwork.
She didn’t need a beating, she needed a boundary 🫶🏾 pic.twitter.com/jQWPlvtOgv
— Destini Ann (@iam_destiniann) February 18, 2023
She says she never wants her disciplining methods to dim her child’s light or her expression, or her creativity.
“This is what empathy looks like for me, stepping into her world first and trying to understand where the behaviour is coming from.”
“There’s still discipline and consequence, there is an appropriate time and place to do your artwork and it ain’t the mirror and also the chapstick is for my lips and we respect each other’s things.”
The young girl playfully cleans her scribbles while she talks to her mother about her artwork. Phoenix’s mother says “the fact that we both walked away from this situation learning a lesson and still smiling and full of joy that’s what I want.”
“And that’s what she deserves.”
This prompted a thoughtful conversation among Twitter users. @OfficialSampson said: “That’s beautiful – I wish more parents were that emotionally intelligent and unselfish.”
@MoonyT, said: “How about redirecting her and say let’s go get a Canvas from the store and redraw would you put on the mirror instead of just trying to discipline a child for creating art? Because that seems like the best solution so she doesn’t think that art has limitations … Smh.”
Replying to the comment, one user said: “You hear ‘discipline’ and immediately think of physical punishment or harm in general, and that’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to unpack bc that’s not the intended purpose of the word. You’re doing a lot of gymnastics to still miss the point of the video entirely.”
Another user said: “It’s just chapstick.”
To be honest, her response is what a lot of people can attest to, saying “I’ve gotten beatings for worse.”
@iam_destiniann posed an interesting question, saying “That’s awesome. Real question though. Let’s say after telling her no that’s not what we do … she keeps doing it? How do you think you would deal with repeated actions in the same manner?”
Phoenix’s mother who goes by the Twitter handle @SimoneDior said, “I would give her a firmer boundary. Kids will show you what they’re ready for developmentally. She coloured on the wall twice … the markers went away and were only available supervised after that. Once she learned the proper use the boundary got more flexible. Habit formation!”
Based on the work of developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind and Stanford academics Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin, the four primary parenting styles utilised in child psychology today are permissive, authoritative, neglectful, and authoritarian.
Even though each parenting style affects children differently and can be distinguished by certain characteristics, as well as the degree to which they are responsive.
By allowing open communication and listening to their children, parents can influence their behaviour.
Based on Maccoby and Martin’s four primary parenting styles, authoritative parenting matches children’s needs, and authoritative parents are likely to raise self-sufficient children.
If there were an award for best parenting, it goes to the mother of the 4 year old, who says that since communicating with her daughter about time and place, there has not been any scribbling on any mirrors.