It’s also a feast of words, an exchange of ideas and opinions. And like I can lock heads with some of the aunties and uncles around the table, I don’t expect my opinion to be everyone’s favorite meal.
As it is important for me to challenge the opinions of my own family, I also think that it’s important to explore spaces that are uncomfortable to broach.
Our conversations we grapple with around the lunch table or over drinks are often awkward, tense, problematic and frustrating.
Our public spaces need to reflect this.
I welcomed you to have a seat at the table when I dished up last week’s column.
Firstly, I would like to apologize to Siya and Rachel Kolisi, JP and Sue Duminy, Emo and Michelle Adams for mentioning them when I meant to draw attention to a wider global trend.
These relationships are also important representations of love and of how we can break old Apartheid informed stereotypes. Interracial relationships are important.
What is also important is that we see people in the media bashing stereotypes of what healthy black and coloured relationships can look like.
So let me try this dish again, with a new recipe. It is important that we have diverse examples of what love looks like in our communities and public spheres.
What’s more, there’s a need for more positive coloured power couple representation. Newlyweds Wayde and Chesney provide this on the public front.
Wayde is revered in South Africa and the world over. Within the coloured community he’s also a special source of inspiration.
My column last week, put me in a position where I didn’t just represent myself but spoke on behalf of my wider community. And for this reason, I believe clarity is important.
“Thank goodness Wayde van Niekerk decided not to marry up”. The problematic headline (which I didn’t write) has since been changed to “Wayde and Chesney a shining example of positive coloured relationships”.
I also don’t see interracial relationships as an upgrade or downgrade.
I’ve always wanted to create platforms for conversations. A diverse group of people shared their different opinions.
Our history has forced us not to date or do anything outside of our racial classification. Globally we have always been fed ideas that we should aspire to whiteness, particularly when we start climbing the class ladder.
We live in such a disparate society that when we start accessing more privilege it becomes clear that our affluent spaces are anything but diverse.
When we see people of colour asserting their blackness/colouredness by just being a happy and successful couple, this is something we should be allowed to celebrate. I am not removing love from the equation, but we can’t deny that even our most intimate relationships exist within a larger political framework.
So if most of us have these conversations in our homes, how do we make it palatable in a public context?