Valentine’s Day is all about that special someone in your life, the person whom you could spend the rest of yours with. But it’s not all young love out there as Cape Town is home to many couples whose partnerships have lasted decades, and who may have a word or two to say about what it means to be together. Here are some of their stories:
Stanley and Lorraine Sassman
Stanley Sassman, 68, just happened to be working in Fish Hoek when he first met 70-year-old Lorraine, who was working across the road from him. One day, he struck up a conversation with her and the couple grew closer. Frequent visits to Lorraine’s home later a trip to the altar.
“Lorainne is still as beautiful as she was the day that I met her. I love everything about her,” he said.
Come February 23, the couple will celebrate 47 years of marriage at their residence at the Douglas Murray Home in Retreat.
When it came to their lives’ great achievement: “Rearing our children,” Stanley said. “Our parents were good examples to us, so we try to set a good example for our children.”
The couple said every day was Valentine’s Day for them, and the secret to a long-lasting partnership was to stand and work together in achieving the things they set out to do.
Stanley had a simple message for young couples: “Respect each other in all that they do.”
Chris and Milly Schutz
Milly can still vividly remember her first interaction with Chris, 87, in 1958. “A long chain of friends had arranged a lift for me from Stellenbosch to a farm in the Karoo,” the 80-year-old explained. “The lift was with Chris and his brother, and I distinctly remember the powder-blue Austin and the guitar on the backseat. He doesn’t remember it at all, but I remember the car and the guitar. I had my priorities.”
What followed was a 10-year courtship before the couple got married in 1968. Both were keen travellers, hopping from Zimbabwe to Milly’s home country of Kenya. After spending time on the road with the Springbok Stampede musical, the two settled on a forest station located near the Mpumalanga town of Sabie, where Chris conducted research into forestry.
After 52 years and now enjoying retirement at Huis Nuweland in Claremont, Milly said the secret to a happy life was finding commonalities with your partner. For her and Chris, it was music. Chris’ is an oboe player. “It’s always been a question of what’s right and not who’s right,” she explained. “Every family needs at least one occupation to do together.”
Jacob and Riëtte van der Merwe
Jacob and Riëtte first crossed paths at Stellenbosch University while he was studying theology and she was a music student.
“She was one of the top girls in Stellenbosch,” Jacob said. “I just felt, here was the most wonderful girl to be around.”
After 54 years of marriage and travelling the country with Jacob working as a minister, the couple enjoy their retirement, living at Huis Lückhoff in Rosebank, playing bowls at the nearby club and spending time with their four children and 11 grandchildren. Riëtte also went on to study didactics in later life and has a fondness for teaching.
Though the Covid-19 lockdown regulations last year had made family time difficult. “It was difficult,” Jacob said. “We couldn’t invite anyone to visit. We do talk over Zoom but we do miss being around people.”
Riëtte had a simple message for budding couples: “Every day you must choose to love each other, and choose in favour of the other person,” she said. “That’s very important, not really focusing on yourself. And if you do that, the other one will give you what you want.”
Weekend Argus