In a society where father absenteeism is high, an initiative between fathers and their daughters is under way, to create a bond and fight the societal norm of absent fathers.
Mahlatse Mashua, a father of three daughters and “heartlines fathers matter” ambassador, said a weekend when his wife was away began an idea that ignited his initiative, Papa Do My Hair.
“One day my nine-year-old daughter came to me and asked me to do her hair, and I realised that I had no clue how to do her hair. Sometimes as fathers we tend to be encouraged to do the bare minimum. That's the old story, though. The new story would be that we consider fathering a much bigger category, not just ‘I'm the helper’. It opens up amazing opportunities to play an important role in your baby's life,” he said.
Mashua and a few friends recently set up a salon-for-the-day at his home in Vredehoek, Cape Town. They’ve invited a professional stylist to teach them some essential hair basics, such as knowing the difference between braids, an upstyle, an afro and twists.
“With all the girls in unanimous approval of their hairstyles, the sense of elation from the fathers was apparent. It was challenging, it was fun and we also had some great moments to connect. My vision is to have more dads getting to experience the joy of learning how to do their daughters’ hair and spending time with them in the process,” he said.
Akhona Gajula, who took part in the initiative that took place in Vredehoek, said: “This time was very bonding for us. My daughters are getting older, so I need to find new ways of connecting with them. As they enter their teens, this is something that I can carry over.”
Gajula said the day also provided a valuable opportunity for reflecting on what it means to be a man and a father.
“Growing up and watching the other men and how they did family life, doing housework, dishes and cleaning, you’d be seen as weak. After becoming a father, I realised that’s not the way I should go about it because my wife and kids need to see the sensitive side of me - not only as a husband and father, but also as a man,” he said.
Mashua’s daughter, Maisha, said: "I enjoyed this time with my dad. My father put his hard work into it and also added his love. I also love it because it looks awesome and I love my dad.“
Mashua is an ambassador for heartlines, which aims to inspire and encourage men and society at large to consider just how important it is for fathers to be a positive influence in children’s lives.
Anyone who would like to be involved in reshaping the narrative about South African fathers can visit the Fathers Matter website for more information: www.fathersmatter.org.za