ANOLENE THANGAVELU PILLAY
We are all familiar with what anger brings about and we have all felt it, whether it’s a brief irritation or a full-blown rage. Have you noticed the way anger makes us feel? As though we are being manipulated by an emotion that’s both unpredictable and powerful. Anger is a natural, healthy human emotion. If it becomes out of control and becomes destructive, it can cause problems in the overall quality of our life.
How can anger be defined? Anger is an emotional condition that can be mild, irritating or intense. Like other emotions, it is associated with biological and physiological changes. No matter how it is expressed, uncontrolled anger can harm our mental health. Your heart rate and blood pressure will increase, as will your levels of energy hormones and adrenalin.
Anger can increase the likelihood of developing coronary heart disease and worsen outcomes for those who have already developed heart disease. Stress-related problems including insomnia, digestive problems and headaches, can result from anger. Also, it plays a role in risky and violent behaviours such as alcohol and drug use. When we are attacked, our instinctual defensive response to threats is anger. This often triggers powerful, aggressive feelings and behaviours that enable us to fight and defend ourselves. A certain amount of anger therefore is necessary for our survival. Laws, social norms and emotional intelligence limit the extent to which our anger can go.
Various conscious and unconscious processes are employed by people to manage anger feelings. The three primary strategies are expressing, suppressing and calming. The healthiest way to express anger is by being assertive, not aggressive. To achieve this, you must learn how to express your needs clearly, without causing emotional harm to others.
It is possible to suppress anger and then redirect it. When you keep your anger inside, stop dwelling on the incident, that’s an unproductive strategy, especially if you have already resolved the issue, or suppress your anger and focus on something positive. More like converting this anger-driven behaviour into a more productive one. However, the danger in this type of response, if our anger is not expressed outward, it can quickly turn into inward anger – towards ourselves. Inward anger can lead to depression, hypertension or high blood pressure.
Unexpressed anger can result in other problems. Pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them) that appears perpetually cynical and hostile, may arise from it. Instead of expressing your anger, try explaining it and finding solutions instead of arguments.
It is not possible to get rid of or avoid the things or the people that cause you anger, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. Making smart choices seems challenging when you are caught in a web of powerful negative emotions. Recognise the signs and step away from the situation. Find out what it is that triggers your anger and develop strategies to avoid it. Finally, you will be able to calm down.
Develop an anger management plan to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal caused by anger. When you resist anger, you are actually rewiring your brain to become calmer. Logic can overcome anger, even if it’s justified, it can quickly turn irrational. Developing emotional intelligence can help us better manage our anger and respond more positively.
Angered people jump to and act on conclusions, some of which may be inaccurate. Listen attentively to what the other person is saying and take your time before responding. It’s natural to feel defensive when criticised but try to avoid reacting aggressively. Change your environment, especially surroundings that cause you to feel annoyed and angry. Ensure some “personal time” and imagine a relaxing experience from your memories or imagination.
Is it good to “vent all of your anger”? According to psychologists, this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a means to inflict pain on others. This intensifies your anger and does not provide assistance in resolving the situation. Despite your best efforts, things will happen that cause you anger. At times, it will be justified anger. Each of us has likely had times when emotional distress, anguish and anger situations almost consumed us. We have no power to change that, but we can change how we allow those events to affect us.
By directing your anger towards problems, rather than people, you can overcome your anger thoughts. Challenge yourself to take control of your response to what is happening by focusing your energy on answers, not excuses – that’s where your power lies. Anger is the wind which blows out the light that controls our emotional intelligence.
Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a psychology adviser.
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