Transform your love story into a perfect one

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a Psychology Advisor. Picture: Supplied

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a Psychology Advisor. Picture: Supplied

Published Feb 9, 2024



Love is a simple four-letter word that holds a world of complexities, emotions and experiences that connect us. It is capable of lifting you to the skies at times but it can also bring you down in an instant.

When love is not given the respect it deserves, it becomes an addiction causing us to feel shattered from within. It is time to flip the script; Valentine’s Day is coming up.

Why not demonstrate your self-worth by attracting the respect you deserve in your relationship? These insights outline the qualities of someone who most likely understands why love should be equal to respect in a relationship.

In many ways, relationships may have become more complicated in modern times but love remains mysterious. Love can change how we positively view people and the world. Love also prevents us from seeing, noticing or reacting to certain aspects of the world.

In terms of vision, love is a perception that blinds us, leading to false beliefs about someone. Our minds form a perfect image of a partner, one that has exceptional qualities. These beliefs shape our reality causing us to live a false reality.

How do we love, not just passionately but also smartly? Explore the corridors of thinking, challenge your perceptions, question your beliefs and find the answers hidden in the layers of your collective intelligence.

Love can recognise the individualistic qualities of others and respects those qualities with no question of comparison. Opening your eye to another individual and seeing them as they are sounds simple but in practice, it is a challenging concept to internalise.

Being patient always gives you what you deserve. By observing another person’s actions and behaviour over time, you can gain a deeper understanding of their beliefs and realise their true intentions.

In a world where relationships often move at lightning speed, the practices of traditional relationships are currently relevant.

Successful couples are usually realistic and understand that it will involve emotional ups and downs.

Still, how that relationship evolves is normally up to those involved. Although relationship rules may have changed over time, the expectations and standards of behaviour should remain consistent to create a strong relationship.

The stability of a relationship can be strengthened by consistently showing appreciation. Though it may be tough, it will be worth the effort.

Despite our differences, trust can be built through your actions and behaviours, not just words, if you place faith in your partner’s judgment.

Trust your intuition to decide whether to let go or grow the relationship, instead of relying on external validation through social media or approval from the masses.

Today, having a clear idea of what you expect from a relationship is crucial. Communicating them openly and honestly makes a significant difference. Living in a materialistic society that is overburdened with societal pressures and pursuing possessions results in dissatisfaction.

Focus on what is a priceless asset, the character of an individual. Good character is the quality that makes an individual dependable. This is needed most to overcome challenges.

In a world that is constantly changing, loyalty is a rare and precious commodity that is worth investing in. Practise recognising the inner qualities of an individual instead of their external attributes.

If you allow insecurities and doubt to take over, it can prevent you from developing a meaningful connection.

A supportive partner who promotes your opinions and dreams, values your abilities and recognises your worth, reinforces a sense of belonging. Relationships that prioritise each other’s emotional and mental well-being are better equipped to overcome challenges.

When love appears, it may not align with our imagination, leaving us puzzled. At times, it can be challenging and resemble a deck of cards which often starts with diamonds and hearts but ends in clubs and spades.

Maybe, now is not the time. When love comes your way, listen to your intuition. It is capable of knowing something without conscious reasoning. Your intuition can reveal the quality of the connection you are feeling with someone.

Love is an emotion, feeling and state that develops over time. Certainly, not an on/off switch. However, respect is a quality that is inbuilt, ingrained and inside a person from the time they are born.

Given this equation, we can safely assume that respect is the first step followed by love. Realise that respect earned, not given, can transform your love story into a perfect one.

For decades the concept, of “unconditional love” has been inspiring us to deeply accept love by opening our hearts to this thinking.

Using the same analogy, why not recognise and accept “unconditional respect” as an equally important ingredient for a heart-warming relationship - creating even more meaningful relationships in this modern age?

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a Psychology Advisor.

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