He cheated on his wife with her permission but she left him anyway

She left him for cheating on her. Picture: Pexels Alex Green

She left him for cheating on her. Picture: Pexels Alex Green

Published Jun 4, 2023


Unless you’re in a very secure open relationship, being cheated on will hurt no matter what people say.

This married man thought that he could get away with cheating on his wife just because she gave him a hall pass after she cheated on him.

A 34-year-old Reddit user who has been married to his wife Elisa for seven years, took to the app’s Relationship Advice group to find out if there was still hope for his marriage after he cheated on her even though she gave him permission to do so.

In his post he shared that even though they had a healthy relationship, she cheated on him.

“4 years ago, during one of her friends’ party, she end up with a ONS (one-night stand), and it almost caused our divorce, my feelings broke that day but for the sake of our daughter I endured the humiliation and shame, and asked for marriage counselling and individual therapy, in which I asked for a hall pass to make my almost non-existent self-esteem capable of grabbing something to give me confidence,” he wrote.

“After that, everything turns to the better, she stopped partying, clubbing, and drinking, while at the same time be a better partner and a better mother, which made everything much more like a healthy relationship, although my feelings and our relationship were never the same.

“1 week ago, during one of these trips I was having a drink in the hotel's bar and met a young attractive girl that started flirting with me, eventually I end up having sex with her. I regretted it later. After coming back, my wife found out because one of my co-workers saw me kissing the girl and let my wife know. I told her all the truth and we end up in a heated and painful argument, where she accused me of cheating after all the effort she put to make everything work. I told her that she gave me a hall pass, and she said that after our relationship was repaired that hall pass should have never ever been used. She left with my daughter and is staying with her parents. I feel lost right now.”

Now he’s asking Reddit users for advice.

“I don't know if we can still reconcile and if our marriage is still salvageable. How can I make it correct?” he asked.

“Yikes, this is messy. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, and whatnot. The only way to move forward will be through more couples counselling, but judging off the way you speak about your relationship and how you feel about yourself in this relationship, it doesn't seem like one worth saving,” said one user.

“I’m confused. Did you ‘save up’ your ‘hall pass’ for a random encounter? Was that how it was supposed to work?” another user asked.

A third agreed that the “hall pass thing is bs”. They continued: It’s a bizarre thing to request if your intent was to fix your relationship but you saved it up for 4 years, used it on a random encounter and then only told your wife when someone else outed you? You cheated exactly the same as she did and you’re deluding yourself with this hall pass thing.”