Fifty shades revealed a whole underworld of the chronicles of sexology: its adventures, escapism, desires and parties. But, this is not about Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Instead, a slew of fetishes, BDSM, kink and sex fantasies lie in Wynberg’s discreet fetish and sex club in Johannesburg, Fetish Haven SA, with its mint-green windows on the outside that immediately capture a passer-by’s attention has been in existence for five years.
Mistress Cleo, the club’s owner, a professional dominatrix and headmistress, welcomes Saturday Star with a smile and an admonishment: “You are late.”
She walks inside the club’s dark lounge and main bar. Red dominates, on the stage, couches and bar stools behind the main bar, accentuating the club’s ambience.
The bubbly headmistress explains what a fetish is: “A fetish is anything that brings you pleasure, that you like doing. If you like shopping for shoes, you have a shoe fetish. It’s not only sexual. If you like it and it gives you pleasure, that’s a fetish. There are weird fetishes people have, as long as it gives them pleasure. I embrace every fetish,” she says.
However, there are limits a person can reach in the fetish world. Mistress Cleo, with her dark eye-shadow, says the club is the only fetish and multiracial sex club in Africa.
“You have lots of swinger clubs and sex clubs but you don’t have a fetish venue, where everything is embraced,” she says.
She says 70% of her clientele are people of colour. The interview is disrupted by a man and woman. Mistress Cleo politely dismisses them.
The former copywriter and singer says her club started as a BDSM club. Later, it introduced swingers, cross-dressers and degradation, among other fetishes.
Mistress Cleo says there are various fetishes her club embraces – foot fetishes, oil fetishes, needle play, impact play and BDSM – in her private rooms in case of an unplanned hook-up with a stranger.
The controversial club not only embraces its clients’ fetishes; it satisfies its customers’ darkest sexual desires – from sex with multiple partners to threesomes in swingers’ parties and “three studs (men) using me and (having sex with) me,” Mistress Cleo says.
The dominatrix who hosts couple sessions says it’s imperative for couples to communicate and consent before participating in her regular swing parties in the Swingers Suite.
“Remember, there’s no emotion here, you can’t be jealous … Before you come in here, you speak to your partner.”
Fetish Haven SA, besides kink, prides itself on its diverse clientele and their fetishes and fantasies.Mistress Cleo’s staff are designated to attend each of her customers’ kinks. She also attends her clientele’s fetishes as a dominant and pairs up clients who share the same kink. This is common in swing parties.
Forty-five minutes after our conversation, Mistress Cleo gives me with a tour of the empty club.
First stop, The Voyer’s Suite: a purple bed, with Max condoms on the side table. Safety precautions are important. The window is veiled by grey blinders.
“Here, a person from the outside can watch through the window when people are shagging,” she says.
Second stop, The Swingers Suite, an all-black bedroom and its centre feature – a black leather swing, where people have sex.
Down the passage are two rooms. One is the Princess Boutique, a pink room, with pink couches, a mirror and a range of women’s clothes. This is a haven for cross-dressers. the other is the Perverse Medical Klinik, a hospital-themed room, with a hospital bed, drip, medication on a medication trolly, condoms and stethoscope, perfect for role playing.
Mistress Cleo says the media over-sensationalises and gives sex clubs a negative image. But, sex clubs, with their staff, owners and regulars are the safest spaces to not only have sex but socialise and meet new people.
She says Fetish Haven SA is a safe space for her regulars and that there’s neither judgement nor shame for one’s kink.
“The club is a safe space for everyone. Hell, you can even walk around naked, there’s no body shaming here,” she says.
The club’s major rule is consent and respect in all activities and for another’s kink.
“It’s a safe space … people don’t care, if you want to play, you play. We create a safe space for escapism and judgement from the world … and we respect each other’s kink,” she says.
The BDSM mistress, who says she spanks clients into submission, says the club serves as therapy for its clients: expect anything from liberation, a confidence booster, to pleasure, ecstasy and self-love.
Mistress Cleo says sex is therapeutic.
“Sex is about pleasure, not only about making babies. Sex is supposed to be enjoyed and pleasurable. When you enjoy sex and are comfortable with your sexuality, you have freedom, and to be who you want to be, and a fetish club allows you to embrace who you are,” she says.
If you are a newbie in Fetish Haven SA, expect a safe environment, with like-minded people and your extreme fantasies brought to life.
“If you have fantasies, you come in here to bring them to life, we make those (fantasies) dreams come true. Fifty Shades has nothing on us, it’s for the kiddies; we are two-hundred shades,” she says.