By Sharon Gordon
Johannesburg - I spoiled myself this week and had a full body massage. There was nothing erotic about it and certainly no happy ending. While I was lying there trying to get two years’ worth of knots out my shoulders, I wondered why my partner and I don’t do this more often.
I think it’s because it is the go-to advice for couples who want to spice things up. It is a bit twee, but it does have its merits. We always tell our men to massage us and when they do they get stuck on what I call prime real estate instead of the less touched parts.
This week I'd like to share some sexy massage tips for him.
Invest in good quality massage oils, one that doesn’t absorb into the skin that easily. Anything made from grape seed oil or soy is great for massage. A cheap and cheerful oil you can try is coconut oil or try getting one with a ylang ylang or spicy scent as this will awaken those sensual senses.
Prepare everything before you start – If you have a great massage bed, if you don’t, the floor or the bed will do. I hate getting oil on my sheets so put down big fluffy towels to add a bit of luxury.
Have him lie face up, position yourself behind his head. (Since this is only a 30-minute massage, we're not including the whole back. But it has a few major erogenous zones there — shoulder blades, lower back, butt — if you have some extra time.)
Spend five minutes on his head and face. Begin by lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. Trace the folds of his ears, the contours of his cheekbones and nose. Next, place your palms on the back of his head, as if you were holding an Avo in cupped hands.
Where his neck meets the skull, you'll find little hollows in the bone. These hollows — acupressure points, actually — are little-known erogenous zones. To give them attention, put your fingertips on them and gradually increase the pressure. Then grasp his head at the jaw and pull it toward you gently, stretching his neck muscles. By pressing the points and stretching muscles, you'll increase his circulation and awaken his senses.
The neck is a very interesting area of the body. It almost never gets touched and when it does it is only in love or anger. So be gentle. Move your hands over the chest and nipples to the bottom half of the torso.
The area that runs from the belly button to the genitalia is an erogenous zone, so don't neglect it.
Start with the navel itself: Three or four finger-widths down from there, you'll find super-important spot acupressurists call the Gate of Origin, right over the bladder. Press it very gently (if he didn't pee before the massage began, he may need to now) to open sexual energy.
You'll find acupressure points where the legs join the torso of the body (those thick tendons in the groin). Lean into them gradually with the heel of your hand. Ask your partner to breathe into your hands; hold this position for a minute or two. His sexual energy is flowing like a raging river by now.
Spend about seven minutes on his upper body. It may seem like a lot of flesh to press in a short time, but you'll be surprised how quickly you glide. Position yourself at his side. Use full-hand contact whenever possible.
Slide your hands to the shoulder/upper-chest area. The Shoulder Well, an acupressure point in the middle of the tendons on either side of the base of the neck, needs to be kneaded: This area is a real tension center, but only work on it for a minute. Longer than that and he might get a headache.
Pay attention to the clavicle: The indentations below the collarbone are unsung erogenous zones. Press them gently with your thumb and forefinger. Then move to the center of the breastbone, right over the heart. Feel for a dimple in the bone. This acupressure point is called the Sea of Tranquility — a heavy-duty relaxation trigger. When pressed with your fingers, it'll ease tension in his chest.
Next, drag your hands toward one of his arms. There are two hot spots on the limb, namely the armpit and the crook inside the elbow. You'll notice that these are both creases: All creases are erogenous zones (the butt crack, the underside of the knee, where the thigh meets the pelvis, where the ear meets the skull).
Tickling creases may induce giggles, so stick to feather strokes, lightly dragging your fingertips over the skin. Rub each arm, and then give him a quick hand/finger massage.
By now you're about halfway through the massage — a good point to start getting really erotic.
You want your partner to be sufficiently relaxed and aroused before you go near the genital area. He'll like just about anything you do to this region. But there are definitely some spots you ought not to miss:
The glans: The head of the penis is keenly sensitive, the male counterpart to a woman's clitoris.
The coronal ridge: The ridge where the glans curves in to meet the shaft is a band of erotic electricity, particularly at the spot known as...
The frenulum: Found at 12 o'clock on the underside of the shaft, this fingernail-size spot is the centre of his universe.
The raphe: This midline seam on the underside of the penis is exquisitely sensitive — a zipper of nerve endings.
The scrotal sac: Gentle touching, please. You'll know you're doing it right when the scrotum tightens and contracts as if it were dancing.
The seminal vesicles: On the sides of the scrotal sac, the vesicles feel like little twigs. You can feel them turn rigid under your fingertips.
The male G-spot: To find it, search the muscular band of flesh that runs from the base of the scrotum to the anus for a slight indentation about the size of a dime. Pressing this dimple indirectly stimulates the prostate gland, as well as the inner base of the penis itself.
You'll need lubrication if you’ve been using a perfumed massage oil swop to a good lube or if you have used coconut oil, you can continue using it.
Start by leaning his penis against his belly. Using a little lubrication, stroke the underside from base to tip for a couple of minutes. Then, with a heavy hand, slide your fingers from the glans along the raphe, down to the scrotum.
Think of this as the teasing portion of the genital massage. Lightly drag your fingernails upward, from the base of the scrotum toward the head of the penis. Gently roll his testicles in your palm. Fiddle with the hardened seminal vesicles. This'll drive him nearly mad.
If you do like to talk, now would be a good time to say something admiring.
Then, proceed to the male G-spot. Pressing it gently with the thumb for six seconds at a time enhances a man's reproductive health and makes him twitchy with desire. To reach it, ask your husband to rest his ankles on your shoulders while you kneel between his legs. Lean forward so that his knees bend toward his chest. Search with your thumb for the dimple described above. If you can't find the exact spot, place the heel of your hand on the whole area. Apply pressure and send him into orbit.
By this time, he'll probably be more than ready for you to get back to the penis. Try these two strokes, the Juicer and the Serpent.
To Juice: Hold the base of the shaft with the right hand (using it to pull down the foreskin, if there is one). With the left hand hovering over the shaft like a parachute, grasp the coronal ridge with your fingertips and rotate your left wrist, twisting the hand and moving it up and down as though you were juicing an orange.
For the Serpent: Grasp the shaft with the right hand, as with the Juicer. With the left hand, hook your index finger and thumb just below the coronal ridge, then snake your fingers around his penis as far as the wrist will allow. Give him a sample of each stroke, and see which feels better for him. Repeat. Repeat some more. Soon, your husband will have a powerful orgasm. Take a moment. And then wipe him off with a tissue.
By now I have no doubt he is ready to or has exploded. Next time – it’s your turn! Happy ending and all.