Sharon Montez
November is meant to be centred around men’s health awareness. I’m not sure it’s as visible as Breast cancer awareness month this past October. November is meant as a reminder for men to prioritise their physical and mental health. It would seem though that women will attend to it as men rarely do it for themselves.
In years past we celebrated Movember, when men grew a moustache to remind us of its importance. I haven’t seen so much of it this year. Prioritising your physical health is important because it directly impacts your overall well-being and productivity, including your sex life.
Women seem far more proactive when their libido wanes or things don’t feel right. Men, not so much. In the Lola Montez store we are often approached by the woman in the relationship about their men suffering from erectile issues. My first response is always he needs to see a doctor, and their answer inevitably is. ‘He refuses to go’. The reply to that one is ‘Then take out life insurance’. How men usually deal with a penis that will no longer cooperate is either to blame their partner or to avoid intimacy altogether, which, as we know, is not the solution.
The statistics say that erectile dysfunction (ED) will occur in about 45% of men over the age of 40 at one stage or another and when it does the first question to ask is whether there is any obvious cause that you know of. For example, are you particularly stressed or worried about something or has there recently been a traumatic event in your life? Stress, including financial worries, retrenchment, bereavement, post traumatic stress syndrome, anxiety and depression all play havoc with sexual performance.
Some drugs, including treatment for hypertension (blood pressure) and depression can also affect the ability to get and maintain an erection. Excessive alcohol consumption, often used to counteract stress, also causes problems with sexual performance. It is important to get a complete physical. It is an indicator that something is physically wrong; therefore, ED is also referred to as Early Death, hence the life insurance suggestion earlier on.
It has been shown that more than 70% of men with ED have an underlying medical problem. It could be a dodgy heart, hypertension that could lead to a stroke or diabetes, to name the top three causes. Don’t be shy to tell your doctor.
The physical should include blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol measurements, as well as a general physical, including a prostate check.
Once the medical condition is identified, the ED is automatically addressed.
Any medication that you are taking should also be reviewed to see whether it has any side effects on sexual performance. If you’re a partner reading this, men and their ego may get in the way of honesty with the doctor so perhaps you should accompany him or speak to the doctor about your concerns before the consultation.
The doctor will be able to assess your husband’s health and deal with any problems, medical or otherwise. If the problem is not related to a medical condition the doctor may prescribe tablets such as Viagra, Cialis or Levitra.
These medications belong to the PDE5 inhibitors which all work by allowing blood to flow into the penis with normal sexual stimulation. This gives a normal erection and thus allows normal sexual activity. There are also several homoeopathic products on the market, and don’t forget, a penis pump like Bathmate can help draw blood to the penis. A good penis ring will help keep the blood there for a session. Sometimes the ED remains but this should not be the death of your intimacy. Women mostly prefer external stimulation, and this can be achieved with a variety of other body parts. So, fear not, sex may just be getting better for her.
Whatever you do please do not ignore the situation.
The South African Sexual Health Association runs a help line on 0800 100262, where you or your partner can get advice and a referral to a doctor in your area if you don’t want to see your own GP. Sometimes men are embarrassed to talk about this issue, but feel more comfortable talking on the phone or to an expert about the problem. We recommend several sexologists throughout the country or email me on [email protected].
Saturday Star