#SexColumn: Inside his dirty little mind
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By Sharon Gordon
Before the pandemic Lola Montez used to invite very brave 5 men ranging from their early 20s to mid 50s to answer questions about sex, relationships and love.
The one rule is that they have to answer honestly or not at all.
Guests were all women and each are given Post It notes to record their burning questions. We stick them on a wall and each man is allowed to pick at least 5 questions that they would like to answer. The chosen Post It notes are handed to me and I then ask each man to answer in turn.
What is interesting are the questions they try to avoid by not selecting them. These are themed. The two themes consistently avoided - cheating and female fat issues.
Every year oral sex, anal sex and our body issues provide recurring themes. Remember the rule is that these very brave men have to be honest. The questions are anonymous so the questions can be anything they have ever wanted to know, but have been too afraid to ask.
Women it would seem are obsessed with how their vaginas look and smell.
Do you like a shaved or unshaved pubic area?
How do you feel about the bush?
Do you think we smell repulsive?
Do you really like going down there?
Is shaving absolutely necessary for romance?
The answer: When it comes to pubic hair, each man has a preference but don’t really care one way or the other. Current fashion of a landing strip has been popularised by Porn movies and most of the men we have spoken to are afraid that a completely shaved pubic area is a bit too little girl for comfort.
The smell of our vagina, despite all the jokes we have been subjected to, is attractive and desired. Most men prefer us to be freshly showered before they perform oral sex on us and appreciate if the pubic is trimmed, rice length seems to be preferred. Not so different from what women want.
We also want to know everything about oral sex. Why, what and how. Especially how!
What should be avoided when giving a blow job?
Do men prefer different ways of getting a blow job?
What advise can you give a woman for the best blow job?
Why do men expect blow jobs?
How long should a blow job last?
What stimulation do men prefer when getting a blow job?
See where we are going with this? We really want to know how to do this well and any guidance is appreciated. Some women think that as long as they are giving a blow job technique is irrelevant but it’s not. In short men prefer the hand - mouth combination. They like rhythm, no quick changes in direction and eye contact. Men have different preferences relating to texture – hot, cold, teeth etc.
Then there is the deep throat and the spit or swallow debate! To be dealt with fully in an article on oral sex coming soon.
And then there is anal sex.
Mostly we just want to understand the attraction.
Do all straight men enjoy anal sex?
Do men enjoy anal sex and why?
Do all heterosexual men want to have anal sex?
Why is anal sex such a turn on?
Would you mind having your G-Spot stroked during sex?
Can anal sex be dangerous for women?
What are the long term effects of anal sex?
Is anal sex as nice for men as they make it seem?
The answer is porn. Men see it in porn movies and it becomes part of popular culture. Most men are quite happy to insert their penis into her anus but are not that keen on having anything inserted into theirs and that despite stimulation of the prostrate leading to a very intense orgasm.
They say that it feels very different to vaginal sex. It’s much tighter. But mostly it’s about the mind. It’s considered naughtier than vaginal sex and so more of an attraction.
Questions asked but successfully avoided:
Why do men cheat?
How do you feel about sex after the birth of a baby?
How do you feel if your girlfriend gets fat?
What separates a woman you would like a relationship with from one you just want to have sex with?
Why don’t men do housework?